Justin Bieber

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You don't have to have been there to know that this whole Justin Bieber-laser tag-alleged assault story has gotten way out of hand. But it helps.

Michael Kwen, a fellow laser tagger who not only eyewitnessed the entire non-event, but served as Bieber's confidant in its aftermath, has come forward to give his take on the tale exclusively to E! News.

Here's what he had to say…

According to Kwen, Bieber and the allegedly victimized 12-year-old both emerged from the laser tag maze. The boy went straight to his father, and Bieber went straight to Kwen.

"He told me that he accidentally hit the kid while trying to escape by running through him and his friends," Kwen said.

And while Kwen seemed to think there was nothing wrong or unusual about the accidental run-in, the boy's father proved to be a less than calming influence.

According to Kwen, "He was yelling, like he was a lawyer...saying that Justin Bieber assaulted his kid."

"It was just a normal game of laser tag, people will always bump into you," Kwen said, going on to shoot down the rumors that some large melee occurred, or that whatever incident, as first reported by the blog ZackTaylor.ca, took place was sparked by a flurry of homophobic slurs.

Nothing, he said, could be further from the truth.

"There was no, there was absolutely no homophobic slurs at all towards Justin Bieber, or anything like that…I think that [the media is] making a bigger deal out of it than it is, because basically nothing actually happened.

"It was just a regular game of laser tag. It's funny how the story always changes. First it was a slap, then it was a punch and now there's homophobic slurs. None of that actually happened at all."

Now that must be music to Justin's ears.

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