Jackson Rathbone, Nikki Reed

Jason Merritt/Getty Images; Jordan Strauss/Getty Images;

Dear Ted:
I watched an interview with Nikki Reed and Jackson Rathbone from the Scream Awards this weekend, and I'm now convinced they are dating. Any truth to this?

Dear Move Over Ashley Greene:
Not a crazy thought...like at all. The two hang together a lot when they're not filming (way more than N and Kristen Stewart). But we still get the friend vibe from them. Although, back at Teen Choice Awards when we chatted with Jackson, he couldn't stop gushing about N.R. but def dropped the "best friends" line in their a few time. We say plutonic relaysh (for now). We'll keep our ears open!

Dear Ted:
If someone Blind Viced Congress, the White House and say the Supreme Court for good measure (p.s. someone should) who, in your opinion, would have bigger and juicier vices: Hollywood or Washington?

Dear Dee-Cee Everything:
When it comes to politics, we all know it gets super vicey, but to compare the infidelities that have gone down in the Oval Office to some of the nasty and risqué things happening in the streets of Hollywood is a tad debatable. Still, I catch your drift. When the head honchos in government do something scandalicious, we all see and care about it. I mean, the only real difference between the two dirty doers is that Hollywood's spies aren't as tight-mouthed as Dee-Cee's.

Dear Ted:
Regarding Mel and Oksana, I under no circumstances condone or accept assaults on women—verbal or physical—but I've got to ask: Isn't there something seriously wrong with this woman? She's had over 40 lawyers. I mean, it's just not right. And though I do believe Mel should make alimony payments, I seriously think she's nothing but an opportunist gold digger. What's your take?

Dear Oksana Wanna:
Have it all. Duh, she's a classic case of gold digger, but Mel is cuckoo. The man needs some major help that not even any of those alimony payments could pay off. I say we check them both into some facility and call it a medical emergency kind of day.

Dear Ted:
Selena Gomez
is still friends with Demi Lovato, right? I do not see any pics of them together anymore.

Dear Still BFFs:
No need to fret, Steph. The two are still BFFS. Demi even raved about Selena being a good friend in an interview with the Daily Telegraph about bullying. They are still kickin' it, just too busy to snap photos while they are trying to promote their anti-bullying campaigns!

Dear Ted:
I believe Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan might have broken up. Your thoughts?.

Dear Gullible:
I'm not jumping on your bandwagon just yet. While I don't feel your source is totally reliable, there may be some ousting of romantic flames in that cute kitchen. I mean it would definitely explain Shia's angry coffee chucking at the paparazzi last week and their infrequent visiting. Still, I'm keeping my fingers crossed and heart beating for ‘em because these two are just too cute!

Dear Ted:
I was wondering does Jackie Bouffant ever hook up with his beard, and what about her? Does she ever look elsewhere?

Dear Curious:
Sure, Jackie will hook up with her. But he most definitely looks elsewhere—guys and girls in fact!

Dear Ted:
In a recent B.B., you said that "neither" Dashed nor Judas had more experience as an actor. Does that mean they have the same amount of experience as each other, or that neither of them have that much compared to more experienced stars like, say, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? Every time you mentioned these star-crossed boys, I get more intrigued!

Dear Good Question:
Dashed and Judas are no Brangelina, by no means whatsoever. One has real experience, but not enough to classify as real if you know what I mean. Keep up the ‘triguing tude!

Dear Ted:
Any updates on past vicer Rust Puss? Did he become as oh-so-famous as he thought he would? Still closeted?

Dear Outdated:
Still closeted, still not as famous as he wishes he was.

Dear Ted:
Do you think that getting the film permit revoked and reinstated is a PR stunt for Angelina Jolie's film? Wouldn't she and her producers do their homework ahead of time and attach the script to the application? Maybe they intentionally left it off so the film receives more attention, or does Jolie just want all eyes on her directorial debut?

Dear Pickin' It Apart:
There is no doubt Ange wants everyone to pay attention to her directorial debut. It's always been lights, camera, pay attention to me with this babe, but who knows what the script slipup was about. My sources tell me those Bosnians can be a bit bossy. Sounds like they will be a match made in heaven with Ange's demanding nature. No going to lie, I'm excited to see how this one turns out, for her sake and Brad's!

Dear Ted:
What are Smokey Shooter and Mimi Kitten up to these days? Ever make that sure-to-be-gorgeous baby?

Dear Fertile Femme:
Nope, they did not. Smokey and Mimi have an interesting relationship. Let's just say they're trying everything they can to make it last.

Dear Ted:
This makes me feel like a hundred years old, but I have been reading your column for a while, and I think I did finally solve one Blind Vice. It is the one about the action star who told his wife she was only allowed to wear dresses and he was acting like an oversize jerk to everyone. His public persona was much better at the time, and as I said this Vice is so old I most likely read it when we still had dial-up, but was it about ranting Mel?

Dear Wrong:
Close, but no cigar. And I just told you who it is.

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