Blake Lively, Ryan Gosling, Fan

Dear Ted:
Although I would think looks-wise Blake Lively and the too delish Ryan Gosling would be great together, I still think Ryan would go more for substance than looks. Forgive my superficial concerns, but our Ryan would go for someone with deeper thoughts than which Louboutins to wear for an outing. These two are, hopefully, only testing their chemistry for a possible new movie, or heaven forbid: She is again, as you so quaintly have put it in the past, Blaking it to the top. Not with my Gosling!

Dear Mind for Fashion:
Blake is definitely smarter than you give her credit for, Rita. She may not be a member of Mensa, but it's street smarts that get you places in this Biz, right? Plus, they'd be the sexiest couple since, well, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.

Dear Ted:
I'm shocked about David Arquette and Courteney Cox's split! And I'm even more shocked that there are rumors they had an open marriage. Could they possibly be our fave swingers Secretia and Chester? If not, do they have a Blind Vice?

Dear Rumor Patrol:
No recent Vices, babe. Which means that no, the duo are not the bedroom-debauched duo of Secretia and Chester. Actually, S and C's extracurricular marital action is what keeps them so happy and...normal? Always sad when "I do" turns into separation, though—especially for a nice gal like Court.

Dear Ted:
I don't understand how Barrington could seem so cool with being the third wheel while hanging out with Nevis and his GF all the time. Isn't he getting a little jealous? Or is more happening behind the scenes than people think?

Dear Thrupple:
Isn't there always more going on behind the scenes (and closed doors, natch)? That's why Blind Vices exist in the first place!

Dear Ted:
This is my second attempt at Maribeth BushI'm not a quitter! Though HBO might wish that Evan Rachel Wood would stop trying to extinguish their bank accounts with her not-so-pretty I right? Or is it back to the bloody drawing board?

Dear Behind The Bush:
Better go sharpen your fangs, 'cause Ev isn't our demanding diva. At least not this time.

Dear Ted:
I love Elizabeth Banks on 30 Rock. Any chance she would take a TV role permanently? She and Alec Baldwin are hilarious together!
—Lisa Marie

Dear Bankable Babe:
Why not both—or at least a more regular role on the small screen to go along with her rising big-screen creds. Think this lady is one of the funniest in the Biz and definitely deserves better flicks than Zac and Miri Make a Porno.

Dear Ted:
Is it just me or does Justin Timberlake seem like the most arrogant, self-obsessed, boring, vengeful little nerdy white boy ever? I am so sick of the fawning this guy gets in the press, when he has screwed over almost every chick he's been with (especially public perception wise) from Britney Spears to Cameron Diaz and now Jessica Biel (even though she seems insufferable too). And he's not even cute in the slightest, and he clearly has no respect for women. Why all this love for the guy responsible for sending both Cam and Brit into public meltdowns?

Dear Out of SYNC:
While J.T.'s ego definitely isn't on the smaller side, you can't blame him for any trouble Brit had after they split. There was way more causing that mama's drama than saying Bye, Bye, Bye to Justin. Blame him for being über-snooze-worthy, if anything.

Dear Ted:
After watching numerous videos on YouTube of choreography set to Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair," I came across a song called "Whipping My Hair" by both Rihanna and Jennifer Lopez and it is the exact same song. I tried looking online for answers but found nothing. Could you explain to me what is going on there?

Dear Diva Off:
It's a demo, doll. If you dig through YouTube enough you'll find plenty of songs sung by gals you wouldn't expect. It's part of the Biz—give it to one pop star, if she doesn't like it, pass it on to the next. Must 'fess: "Whip My Hair" is totally catchy. Trust, I'm embarrassed to admit that.

Dear Ted:
Let's not put Oded Good-Head in the same boat as Crotch, unless my guesses about the two are very wrong. I was upset with you about Oded last week, but now I see your hard position and appreciate very much the "bonus" B.V. Good things come to those who wait I guess. You never let me down, Ted, except when it comes to Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream. (But that is probably only because I am bombarded by crazy fandoms.)

Dear Blind Buds:
Oded and Crotch have more in common than you'd think. More so than doing dudes on the DL, that is.

Dear Ted:
I'm not a Nonsten, but it just seems odd that there's never actually any pictures of them holding hands or cuddling. There are all these reports from people who witnessed their affections in public, but never a pic. Doesn't anyone ever snap a sneaky pic with their camera phone or something? If they're willing to blab about them, seems like they'd be willing to secretly snap a pic.

Dear The Money Shot:
You've already forgotten the infamous smooch pic, A? Shame on you! But the reason there aren't more snapshots of these two getting snuggly is that it's usually at a super-exclusive hot spot where the other folks know it's totally taboo to tattle.

Dear Ted:
I can't understand why you seem to be a fan of Eminem, who spews straight-up homophobic hatred. For example "Hate f-gs? The answer is yes." Doesn't get more cut and dry, no? Postrehab, he still didn't have a response to these criticisms of homophobia when Anderson Cooper asked in an interview, merely whining that he was being singled out because he's white. C'mon, where's Eminem's place in your Morning Piss?

Dear Good Point:
I love the smart rebels. Eminem's musical genius outshines his small-minded bigotry. But yeah, he needs to be called out on in it more. Probably is just gay himself, poor thing.

Dear Ted:
If Joe Jonas fans love him so much, why are they cyber-bullying Ashley Greene via Twitter while he's joined the fight against bullying? Doesn't make much sense to me.

Dear Jonsing for Jonas:
Hell hath no fury like a tween superfan scorned. Just look at Justin Bieber fans. If only their parents knew what kind of 140-character filth they were spewing, they'd probably be grounded for like, two weeks.

Dear Ted:
I asked you once if Fake à la Ferocity's partner tried to help her get off her "special diet," and you responded in an old Bitch-Back with "no." Is that still a no, and if it's still no, is it because he has his own problems? You would think he would do everything he could to convince her to seek help not only for herself, but as a mother, for the sake of their children.

Dear Speaking in Code:
The answer, like the denial, remains the same.

Dear Ted:
I was wondering since Jackie Bouffant, Parrish Maguire, Toothy Tile and Nevis Divine are all in the closet and Nevis is bi, who would break the most girls hearts should they come out?

Dear Cry Me a River:
Nev, most likely. And broken hearted in a huge, totally cuckoo crazy way. But trust, there would be plenty of teary-eyed tweens were any of them to come out of their closets.

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