Lindsay Lohan, Mugshot

Dear Ted:
Do you feel that there's a hint of sexism when it comes to female celebs (Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton) who get into drugs or other troubles as opposed to when a man (Charlie Sheen, T.I. or even Colin Farrell from way back) goes through the exact same thing? Bad girls vs. boys being boys. There's word of L.L. being put into in a Britney-style conservatorship. That was never a consideration for the men I mentioned. Why should a woman be on lockdown but a man who behaves "erratically" or out of control remains free to do as he pleases? Any thoughts, Ted?

Dear Duh:
You already answered your own question. And who takes care of these wayward women? Men, of course.

Dear Ted:
Is Cass Stimulatia Victoria Beckham? You said she wasn't famous for her acting/movie career, and you wouldn't say she's mostly known for her singing either. She's a "relatively" small lady. Some thinks she's attractive and some really, really don't. How about it?

Dear Cass-strated:
Sorry, babe. Nice try, but Vic already has a Vice and it's got nothing to do with her baby-making abilities. Plus, way to be harsh on the Posh! People don't bash her looks that much, Sugarsnap!

Dear Ted:
So happy to see Emma Stone everywhere! I'm really rooting for her to takeover the LOL slot and kick butt on the roles Lindsay might have gotten if she were clean and drug free. Maybe this competitive message will drive home the reality to get sober lickety spilt to La Lohan.
—Cheering Loudly for Emma

Dear Stone Walled:
As much as we totally heart Emma, the two gals weren't exactly—despite what you may hear—gunning for all the same roles. Emma is funny funny and the studios know that, so she's working her smarts over her sex appeal. Lohan, on the other hand, is not.

Dear Ted:
If Orlando Bloom is a Vice, surely you must also have some dirt on Miranda Kerr, seeing as all her sweetness and light has to be an act. Also why do you think Orlando doesn't seem happy about the baby?

Dear Who Kerrs?
Unless wanting to get a bit more famous is a crime, then Miranda is pretty Viced-out, as far as I'm concerned. Don't understand why you say Bloom is being a daddy downer though—did you want a People magazine spread about how excited he is?

Dear Ted:
Has Pete Priss-Ass talked to Bertha Rose after winning the bid on the condo? Is Bertha Rose the kind to forgive and forget, or would she hold a grudge against Pete? Must be a cool cookie to go against a formidable Hollywood dame. Is my ass kissing too obvious Monsieur Casablanca? Just wanted to get more hints on dame Rose. Pretty dog-loving please!

Dear Real-a-Hate:
Let's put it this way: Pete will have no problem being utterly gracious to Bertha the next time they see each other, unlike Bertha.

Dear Ted:
Joe Jonas
kind of pisses me off. He is such a player. He goes from girl to girl to girl. Now don't get me wrong, he is pretty hot—no doubt about that—but still. I mean how long after he dated Demi Lovato did he go straight to Ashley Green?

Dear Average Joe:
Don't make me laugh, babe! Don't you know the chicks have all the power in these relayshes?

Dear Ted:
I have a theory. What if Robsten is PR and Tom Sturridge and Kristen Stewart are the real couple? I find it odd that Tom goes almost everywhere Robert Pattinson goes and shows up next to Kristen so many times. They even went to a concert without him. And now he has traveled back to L.A. with Rob even though he is not filming Breaking Dawn. Could it be because Kristen will be there? And how about how he got the role in On the Road instead of Rob...

Dear Crock Pot:
Good luck dealing with the Twi-hards after this, chica! Hell, at least it's a new twist on the sitch though. But if you're serious, no, TomStu and Kris are not together. Why is it so hard to believe a gal could be pals with her BF's BFF.

Dear Ted:
Over the years many kids of celebrities have written scandalous tell-all books about their parents: Bing Crosby, Mackenzie Phillips and of course the gold standard, Mommie Dearest. If you had to bet money on which celebri-kid could write the most scandalous tell-all book about his/her parents, who would it be? And would we all be shocked at what we read?

Dear Book Smart:
Any of Brangelina's pack of kiddos could make bank dishing dirty deets about their parentals. And you know Sean Preston and Jayden James would have boatloads of bitchy tales ‘bout Brit. But the child tell-all that I most want to read will be penned by Suri Cruise.

Dear Ted:
Is Anna Paquin Maribeth Bush? I honestly hope she's not, but she does seem cold in interviews and I don't see her spending time with other castmembers except her husband. If she's not M.B., has she ever been a Vice? If she is or isn't it won't really matter to me, because I love her rawness! Don't you?

Dear Show Me the Money:
You have banked on the wrong gal, babe. But let me ask: If you don't care if A.P. is a Vice, then why're you asking? But just fyi, she's not Miss Bush. Anna is far chiller on set and genuinely seems to get along with the rest of the cast and crew.

Dear Ted:
I'd love a PETA ad starring a guy. Even though I completely agree with Christian Serratos' idea of making one with the whole Twilight cast. Who wouldn't like that? I'm being realistic thinking that Summit would never approve. But what about just one of the guys doing a solo one like Christian? Of course, Rob is at the top of my list, but I wouldn't mind one being made with Kellan Lutz, Peter Facinelli or Jackson Rathbone. Thoughts?

Dear PETA Peekaboo:
If you wanna see one of those sexy vamp dudes show off their buns for a good cause, hitch your wagon to Kellan. He's the least shy about his buff bod and the star most actively involved with the animal rights group, as of now. In fact, think we should start a Twitter campaign?

Dear Ted:
I've asked you a billion times: Are Karina Smirnoff and Maksim Chmerkovskiy going to hook up now that they're both back on DWTS. There must be some juicy behind-the-scenes stuff right with them being exes.

Dear Dancing With the Exes:
Hate to break your drama-loving heart, Q, but things are strictly professional between these two. Sure, there may have been some breakup beef in the past, but Karina took some time off and is over it now. They're in it to win it—the competition, that is.

Dear Ted:
In a recent B.B. a reader was very upset that her fave stars were being called gay. They used the word gay like it was the most derogatory thing you could say about someone. As a straight woman, I won't pretend to understand the ignorance and hostility you have encountered as a gay man, but that question/comment had to bother you, right?

Dear Well-Intended:
No. Somehow being raised in Texas by a Republican mother who values her hair and her church more than you makes you immune to these little things in life.

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