So, if you'd mixed it up with the Medellin drug cartel back in the day, and things had ended badly, would you seek to raise your profile by appearing on The Real Housewives of New Jersey?
We'll get to that logic question in a bit.
First, let's look at whether the buzz is true. Was Pablo Escobar, the infamous Medellin kingpin , out to get Danielle Staub?
Yes, allegedly—and no, not in so many words.
In a court deposition originally obtained by Radar Online, and related to the ongoing defamation suit against Staub, the reality star's ex-boyfriend, Daniel Aguilar, says the Colombian drug ring was none too happy with Staub, then the working gal known as Angela Minelli, for blowing a $100,000 coke deal in the 1980s.
"Even my men were saying, 'We should just kill her. Get her out of the way. She's nothing but a prostitute and a bitch," Aguilar, a convicted drug dealer once known as the Medellin "enforcer," says in the documents.
Speaking exclusively today to E! News, Aguilar didn't make it sound as if his old pals had mellowed on Staub—or hosted any RHONJ viewing parties.
"As recently as two months ago in Miami, the cartel, as well as other drug dealers she informed on in 1986, want her dead," he said. "More than ever since she's been on television."
So, that's the bad news for Staub. The good news is, from what we've seen, Aguilar doesn't specifically say the Pablo Esbobar ordered a hit on Staub. (Even better news? Escobar's been dead for nearly 20 years!)
And now back to the original question: Even if Escobar wasn't personally plotting to rip out your hair extensions, so to speak, if the word was one of his friends might, then shouldn't you have kinda pursued a lower-profile career than, say, reality-TV diva?
The personal security consultant we spoke to didn't even want to be quoted. The question was an insult. To common sense, he basically said.
—Additional reporting by Whitney English