Lea Michele

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Dear Ted:
I'm guessing what's "pissing off Lea Michele" is probably her superlow calorie/low carb/low whatever diet she's on. I know that whenever I cut too many carbs, I can be one cranky little be-yotch at times. Here's hoping she comes to her senses and returns to her former healthy yet fit shape. Hollywood has enough cadavers on parade already, don't you think?

Dear Diva Diet:
How right you are! We get bitchy as hell if you don't feed us here at the A.T., no joke. I'd say that's a big reason why L.M. always wears a sour puss. Funny how her shrinking waist size and inflating ego seem to have a direct link, huh? Wish she'd grab a burger and slap a smile on her face, as much as I heart her. And I do, swear.

Dear Ted:
Who has Nevis Divine known longer: his girl or Barrington Bang-Me? And if you were BBM, would you put up with this arrangement or would you be out the door?

Dear Bang Bang History:
BBM, surely. Arguably longer and better, actually. That's a tough call, S. Obviously I wouldn't be too thrilled with the sitch, but Nev is the type of dude you can't say no to. So good-looking, and a (mostly) great personality to boot.

Dear Ted:
Does Scott Disick have enough sense to know his douchey ways have divided the entire Kardashian family?

Dear Di(si)ck:
While Scott is indeed über-douchey—and he knows it, trust—things aren't as serious anymore. Sure, Khloé and Kris may not love the dude, but they're not going to let him split up the way-tight Kardashian clan.

Dear Ted:
You recently answered my comment that Angelina Jolie would make a great Mrs. Robinson in a remake of The Graduate, and asked who I thought should play Benjamin. I think Michael Cera is the obvious choice, but I was thinking...Why not make it interesting, and have Benjamin fall not for Mrs. Robinson's daughter, but for her son? Taylor Lautner would be great in that role. I can just picture him pounding on the church door, screaming "Dwayne! Dwayne!"

Dear Creative Writing:
You're crazy, Susan, but you made me laugh. Good luck convincing Tay to sign on to that. Never in a million years, babe. How about Nick Jonas?

Dear Ted:
What's Browhilda Frown-Free been up to? Is she still professionally bearding?
—Martha in Chicago

Dear Vintaged Girl:
Desperately. Ain't really workin' for her, either. Hear that, gals?

Dear Ted:
What's the relationship between Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad in real life? Friends? Enemies? Frenemies? Or they simply ignore each other? I really liked their friendship...And btw, my three fishes and I love you!

Dear Over The Hills:
More like business acquaintances. Bubble kisses to your fishies from me.

Dear Ted:
As a Supernatural fan, I like Danneel Harris. She seems both beautiful and clever, a killer combination, and I hate how mean a few fans can be. I admit to a soft spot for her equally beautiful husband and his oh-so-hot costar and love their chemistry together. Since the boys used to do so much together, even getting engaged the same weekend, I expected them to enjoy doing coupley things together too, but no. So is something up between the two couples? Neither wife attended the other's wedding, forcing their men to face groomsmen duties without their support. In fact, the one time we saw both couples together at ComicCon, things seemed a bit frosty between them. Could this mean problems for the formerly inseparable TV brothers? Do their wives dislike each other, or is there some other problem with this lovely foursome?
—SuperCouple Fan

Dear Coupling Conundrum:
Minimal tension here. The brides were never besties to begin with, and they're not trying to pull each other's hair out now that they're newlyweds. Danneel and Jensen are both just very much focused on work, while Jared and Gen are more chill.

Dear Ted:
I've been thinking about Emilie De Ravin. She seems really sweet and a good actress, and she got the short end of the stick both in Roswell and Lost. Is it simply bad luck or is she not as nice as she seems?

Dear Ravin Mad:
She didn't exactly get the shaft on Lost. I mean, she lived after all…well, kind of.

Dear Ted:
I'm just dying to know if Taylor Lautner has a saucy B.V. and whether this would affect his squeaky-clean teen heartthrob image.

Dear Questionable:
He is a B.V., isn't he? That would be a so-true darling.

Dear Ted:
Kanye West
has to be one of the biggest narcissists out there, which made me wonder if he's ever been a Blind Vice. All of his dirty laundry simply can't be out there.

Dear Imma Let You Finish:
Please, Kanye has too of big of a mouth to have a Blind Vice. He'd blab about it before anyone could even guess.

Dear Ted:
I just want you to know that I'm a dedicated fan as well as a college student. Although I may be young, I am very mature, and while dealing with my immature neighbors I was wondering what kind of Vice my fave funnyman Seth Rogen could have. Can I get some tips to pass me over?

Dear Funny One:
It doesn't have to do with sexual escapades. Thank heavens.

Dear Ted:
Last week I emailed you about Kristen Stewart supposedly being jealous of the positive attention Ashley Greene gets from fans. I thought it didn't sound like the confident K.Stew you always write about. Now, there are whispers of K.Stew being sick of Rob Pattinson being too possessive of her. That also doesn't sound like the young woman you write about and her "chill" relationship with R.Pattz. What are your thoughts? Are these bogus claims?
Carmel in Minn.

Dear Lovelight:
Please, Kristen would never hang around with a guy who tried to be possessive of her. She'd ditch him way before that would happen! R and K are both way chill, that's why their laid-back relationship works.

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