Kevin Winter/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
I've seen a few rumors suggesting Alexander Skarsgård and Kate Bosworth have split. Since you're my go-to guy for True Blood goss, what have you heard? I know this was a prediction of yours a while ago now. Also, how cute and friendly were all the True Blood stars at the Emmys? They rock.
—Mel, Perth, Australia
Dear Bosworthed Out:
While I doubt these two have called it quits for good, A.Skars and the Bos definitely don't have the most smooth-sailing relaysh. You know what was odd about Skarsgård's behavior at Emmy parties? How friggin' low-key he was! He sat there with Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin, and while he was happy chatting with his costars, when they did their lovey-dovey thing he looked totally lonely. He only talked to girls who asked for their pic with him. Something's up, and it's not that he was missing Kate.
Dear Ted:
Please tell me that my dream gal-pal Gwen Stefani is as sweet and chillaxed as she comes off to be.
—Jenny
Dear Stef Up 3D:
Gwen is definitely a big chillaxer, as you put it. Sweet, sure, but we'll talk about that one later.
Dear Ted:
What do I have to make go "poof" for you to tell me if Hunter Parrish has a B.V. moniker? And could you also challenge Taylor Lautner to a push-up contest? I'm not sure what the winner would get, but if you both were shirtless, we would all be winners!
—A
Dear On Weeds-days, We Wear Pink!
Cutey Hunter isn't a Vice—hear he's quite the good boy—but haven't checked up on him in a while. He lives out of the limelight, so he certainly could do all that Vicey stuff under the radar. And as for Taylor, babe, there are so many reasons why I wouldn't dare to enter that contest, and not just because I'd lose. Now Hunter and Taylor, that's a push-up contest I'd love to see!
Dear Ted:
You keep talking about how Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus share a "bond" and how this "bond" is stronger than what she had with Liam Hemsworth. What exactly do you mean by this? Niley fans talk about it as if it were some great love story, but I always thought they were exaggerating.
—Leaf
Dear Baby Just Say Yes:
It's no different than the bond a lot of other couples share together. But it's definitely tangible, hence why I love me some Niley so much! They've gone through a lot of big experiences together. Think about it, they blew up at exactly the same time. That's too much to go through by yourself.
Dear Ted:
A question about Parrish Maguire. You said he was given orders to "Reel it in, or else." But if he's become as much of a franchise as you suggest, isn't he too valuable to his employers to be let go? In short, could he really be fired for his indiscretions?
—Trace
Dear Invalued Goods:
There are punishments for misbehaving other than flat-out getting fired, dearest. I'm not suggesting that the guy will be killed off or anything, but there can be other ways that his employers and managers can persuade him to step in line. In fact, speaking of, would it be overkill for a Parrish B.V. later today? I can type more 'bout him then.
Dear Ted:
You said in your Bitch-Back that Brad Pitt's "rebound turned out well for him." I don't get it. You insinuate all the time that they're miserable with one another, but that they stick it out for the kids. Then on the other hand, you speak about them lovin' it up in the sack and her having some sort of wonderful hold on him that makes him always come back for more. Which is it already?
—Sharky
Dear Pitt of Despair:
When I said that, all I meant was that after Aniston, Brad seemed to have lucked out with such a long-lasting and tabloid-hot romance with his rebound, Angie. Not every guy can rebound like that. So yes, "turned out well" in that regard...but uh, not sure how I feel about some other regards.
Dear Ted:
Is Viggo Mortensen's B.V. about something he does in public, or something he does behind closed doors?
—Likes Danish
Dear Vig Newtons:
Considering that he's got a B.V. in the first place, wouldn't you agree that it can't possibly be done in public?
Dear Ted:
It's seems weird to mention politics in a gossip column, but I have to know your opinion: California finally passed legislation meant to reign in the paparazzi. Does the law have some bite, or is this a poodle taking on a pack of rabid pit bulls?
—Help Control the Tabloid Population, Have Your Paps Spayed & Neutered
Dear Bob Barker:
It's too early to tell, but it all depends on the celebs. If anti-pap folks like Jennifer Garner decide to, they'll make the law a success, or they'll simply ignore it and get their photos taken eating ice cream...as it's always been.
Dear Ted:
Is Parrish Maguire old enough to vote?
—Hezan
Dear And Enlist!
Yep.
Dear Ted:
I have not seen one episode of True Blood since I do not have cable; however, I've read (devoured actually) all of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, and I'm totally addicted. I don't have a question, but here's my thought: I think that the character Quinn has not been added to the series yet. Since Alcide's been played by the oh so yummy Joe Manganiello, can you imagine the hunk they would need to get for Quinn? He is described in the books as totally out of this world!
—Xy
Dear Xylophone:
The first thing we need to do is get you hooked up to an HBO IV, stat! I can't even imagine what you've been through, not being able to see True Blood. I can't even think about answering your question about this no-name character yet, love!