Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher

Courtesy of Aaron Garcia

Dear Ted:
There is something desperate going on between Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher lately: Watching the Snoop Dogg concert video, while Demi dirty dances and Ashton films, made me feel uncomfortable. I have always been a fan of the couple, but something reeks of desperation, and Ashton looks kind of dissociated from all of it. Your thoughts on what's going on, or more interesting, not going on?

Dear Not Punk'd:
These two have always been a bit on the desperate side—Ashton to be funny (Killers, anybody?) and Demi to be young and hot (Ashton, anybody?)—but that's why they work so well together, actually. As for Star's report that Kutcher was stepping out on his wife, we say bull. Out of effed-up Hollywood couples, these two shockingly fit together way better than most. Let's just say they're not exactly Tom and Katie, can we all agree on that? 

Dear Ted:
I've noticed your girl, Jen Garner has been out and about with Violet a lot lately, usually doing the whole kissy-face thing. So the paps backed off of taking pics at Violet's school and Jen is playing nice sweet. Wonder how long it will last.

Dear Mama Bear:
Until they start messing with her kids again. Really, that's the No. 1 reason Ms. Garner shows her claws. Otherwise, it's all plastered-on smiles and dimples for days with this one.

Dear Ted:
I follow our dearest Gleeks on Twitter: Cory, Amber, Chris, Jenna and they all seem to love Lea. So I guess that "diva" thing of her doesn't affect their friendships too much, does it? Because I think they're totally sincere when they say they love her.

Dear Fail Whale:
Don't believe everything you see tweeted. Mark Salling sucked up his pride and tweeted away his beef with nutty Naya Rivera, so it's no surprise that none of the Gleekers have 'fessed up to Lea's occasionally bitchy behavior to their millions of followers. But we've all got some ‘tude from time to time. At least I can totally heart Lea for the work she does helping animals.

Dear Ted:
Tina Fey
and Jon Hamm seem like two of the most genuine people in Hollywood. Are they the close friends they seem to be? They seemed to have so much fun together in the Emmy opening, and I also hear the two of them danced the night away with some friends on Emmy night.

Dear Yuk It Up:
Don't you remember how friggin' funny those two were on 30 Rock? Major comedic chemistry—that is, they make each other laugh, before you start making assumptions. And yes, they seemed to have a ton of fun Emmy night, along with equally funnylady Amy Poehler. So jealous, aren't you?

Dear Ted:
So Kirsten Stewart and Taylor Lautner are supposed to be superclose, like bro-sis close right? So any word (or thoughts) on what Kristen would think of his recent bratty shenanigans?

Dear Terrible Twis:
Not too surprised, I'm sure. Everyone's expected a bit of ‘tude from the dude for a while now.

Dear Ted:
I know I've asked this before, but after the Emmy's there's legit whispering going on: What the heck is up with Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni?

Dear Law & Order: Screw You:
Nada, both are happily married. I know it's hard to believe, and it pains us to say as we're die-hard SVU fans, but costars can actually be friendly without any behind-the-scenes sexcapades, right? OK no way, but these two are the exception.

Dear Ted:
Joe Jonas
and Ashley Greene are a couple and here are pictures to prove it. And obviously Ashley was at the Jonas concert; look at the little girl's shirt and the background. I just feel bad for Demi Lovato because Ashley is going everywhere Joe is. Did Ashley forget that Demi is touring with the JoBros? Do you think Ashley and Demi are cordial to each other or just plain out ignore one another?

Dear Average Joe:
I'm sure Demi and Ashley aren't exactly cat-fighting backstage, especially over Joe Jonas (no offense to the cutie). Hell, they might even bond over the shared Jo Bro—not what you thought you'd hear, huh?

Dear Ted:
I'm a huge Gleek and enjoyed the Emmy's the other night. But I couldn't help but notice that Lea needs to eat. Her head looked huge (and not just due to her hairdo). Is she using Angie's diet, is she stressed out or has she gone all Hollywood and stopped eating altogether? My rescued pup just turned 3! I bought her a special big bone and she hid it under the bushes (lovely yet annoying).

Dear Pitch Imperfect:
Trust, Lea's way-skinny waist was the talk of the carpet at the Emmys. Why do you think the girl gets bitchy time to time? She's friggin' hungry! Totally think she would look even more gorge if she put on a pound or two, but she's not the first celeb to become super slim as soon as she made it big. Wish she would use some of that diva ‘tude to demand a burger.

Dear Ted:
I volunteer at my local No Kill Animal Shelter and like to read your column as it brightens my mood. I do have to take exception to the publicity given to Paris Hilton. Why do the media report on this waste of humanity? I find nothing redeeming about her or her family and in my opinion would categorize the Hilton bunch as parasites. Wealth in this current Hilton generation is inherited, is this correct? I do realize there's entertainment value in reading about fools, but these people have no shame or accountability. It won't happen, but I wish the media would ignore these people. Thank you for being the fabulous person I think you are.

Dear Over the Hilton:
Paris was—or debatably still is—totally over, really. As much interest as she was once able to nab, no one seems to care anymore. Sure, she's got a bit of publicity for these coke allegations, but I'm sure it'll blow over, as it were. She's no Lohan, at least. Hard as she tries, precious thing!

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