Caroline Manzo is ready to get dirty.
After deliberately dodging Danielle Staub—"You hang out with trash and you start to smell like garbage"— The Real Housewives of New Jersey's matriarch has arranged a sit-down with her family's archenemy.
Why now?
After a season on the sidelines watching her family and the Guidices "battle this lunatic," Caroline says she is looking for "a solution to make her go away."
We only wish Mama Manzo had different motivations—like sparing us from fast-forwarding through Danielle's insufferably boring segments.
Instead, she's upset that the stripper with a sordid past is pressing charges against her niece for "pulling her hair": "Why are you so hell-bent on hurting this child?" she says indignantly about Ashley, who—let's face it—at 19 is old enough to join the army or otherwise engage in responsible acts of young adulthood.
Caroline also takes issue with the foreclosure "rumor [Danielle's] spreading" about Teresa Guidice—who in fact filed for bankruptcy after receiving a foreclosure complaint from her mortgage lender.
It's all good, though—Mama Manzo is just protecting her own. It's not like we're going to side with Danielle, who in yet another yawner of a scene prepares to meet Caroline by "purging" her house and consulting ex-con bestie Danny Aguilar. Most of Denim Danny's mouthings are the opposite of wiseguy, but this time he nails it:
"The puppeteer is Caroline. She's the ruling party. They do what she dictates."
Guess "they" includes Bravo, because someone got Danielle fired.