Hello! I really am in love with Justin Bieber. I can't stop thinking about him all day, and I know everything about him. I'm just too obsessed. What should I do?
—Dreamer, via the A.B. inbox
Oh, that Bieb. I know, I know. So much to love, between that winning attitude and that swoopy hairstyle that makes lesbians scramble for their scissors.
I should stop right now before I grow obsessed, too. Here's your prescription, to kick that habit once and for all. And, yes, maybe it does involve a new hobby. Lady Gaga, perhaps:
First, psychologists want to know a few extra details about how you're living your life.
About 3.3 million people follow The Bieb on Twitter, for example (he recently called his followers his own personal "wolf pack") but that doesn't mean that all of them "can't stop thinking about him all day," as you put it.
If you describe yourself accurately, psychologists tell me, your obsession may fall outside the boundaries of normal teen—or presumably teen—crush.
"It's OK to love a singer, and it's totally normal to have his pictures all over your room," says psychologist Susan Bartell. "But the people you should really have as heroes are people in your real life, someone who can love you back."
Not that you're all alone, mind you.
"This situation is typical when one feels alone and lonely, and fantasizes about ideal love," says psychologist and child specialist Jean Cirillo. "Since she does not know the real Justin Bieber, she can make his image into anything her heart desires."
In other words, you make think you "know everything about him," as you put it, but trust me, darling, you don't. You know what his publicity machine wants you know about him, and it's important that you know that difference.
So how do you know whether your obsession is healthy or not? Well, as Bartell puts it, "are you on the 'net seven hours a day on his fan page?" That's not healthy.
Here's what is:
"Limit yourself to 20 minutes a day of Justin Bieber," Bartells says. "After that you have to make sure your day is filled with other things. It's never OK to feel obsessed, at that level, with anything."
Unless you're obsessed with me, of course. But you knew that already.
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