Chris Brown

AP Photo/Matt Sayles

Dear Ted:
A lot of skeptics are accusing Chris Brown of using eye drops to create the tears when he broke down crying for the "Man in the Mirror" portion of his performance. How can Charlie Sheen get away with all of his crap and Chris Brown not get a break? I don't mean excusing his behavior one iota. But can we give credit where it is due and say that Chris gave one helluva performance? I truly believe that if anyone could feel the words of that song, it was Chris at that moment.

Dear Forgive and Forget?
Was it a good performance? Sure, no one denies the dude can dance (and tears for bonus pity points!). As for why people are still pissed, it's simple: He never gave an apology that didn't reek of self-interest. When Brown was revealed onstage—it was the night's biggest surprise, even from the event staff—you could have heard a pin drop. I will say it was the smartest career move he could make. While everyone may dislike Chris Brown, no one will boo a Michael Jackson tribute.

Dear Ted:
Out of the Twifecta—Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner—which one is closest to joining fellow castmember Nikki Reed as a Blind Vice Superstar?

Dear Um:
I can only pick one?

Dear Ted:
I've been reading your blog since I started my service with Americorps and really hate I had to leave my rescue German Shepherd at home. Thanks for all of your support for our gay rights. It's a shame we don't have more voices in Hollywood dying to be heard and proud of. My question is about E!'s own Chelsea Handler. I love her, but is she as abrasive as she is on her show? Any clue what her Blind Vice is? (Is her Vice named after a brand of vodka?)
—Travis McNew

Dear Jokes on You:
What you see is what you get with Chelsea. As for being a B.V., I'm pretty sure she's already aired all her dirty laundry herself—no need for me to do it. And don't you just love the boozin' babe for that?

Dear Ted:
Is Miranda Kerr pregnant? I know she's dating Orlando Bloom and that they got engaged (nothing weird), but it seems they are now looking for churches and are in a huge rush!

Dear Baby Bump:
You're saying a couple can't just be racing for the altar because they're so totally in love?

Dear Ted:
I was watching The Office the other day and I was wondering if any of those stars are a B.V., and also, is Polly Luscious-Locks Anna Kendrick? It seems so!
—Mary Jo

Dear Vice Duty:
Of course, M.J., but as for Poll, sorry to say nope. Anna has graced the tabloid covers far less than our Luscious-Locks.

Dear Ted:
Do you think one day Tobey would publicly mention sleeping with Me-Me and Darla like Justin did with Britney? Or maybe Me-Me would be the one to talk?

Dear Loose Lips:
Me-Me, duh. She's in control. Haven't you figured that out yet?

Dear Ted:
I've decided to look outside the box with a guess for Parrish McGuire. Most posters seem to think it's a certain Twilighter, but I disagree. My vote goes for Michael Cera—totally cute in a nonthreatening way. Kinda effeminate, dimples and has been a rising star in Hollywood for some time.

Dear Michael McGuire?
Kudos for being original with your guess, babe, but Michael ain't Parrish. P. McG loves his blockbuster flicks, where as Michael will play indie his entire awkward life, I'm afraid.

Dear Ted:
I still think Moisty Mohr is Chris Matthews, and I've sent a couple of emails to that effect and have seen no reply, which only escalates my suspicions. You promised to out him if someone guessed correctly! If I am wrong, however, I have a different question: Will Priscilla Desert ever star in her own Blind Vice, or is she as squeaky clean as she appears?

Dear Double Duty:
Wrongo, so to answer you're other Q: It's only a matter of time until Prissy does, trust.

Dear Ted:
I saw an interview with Bryce Dallas Howard and she seems really nice and down-to-earth? Is she as good as she seems?

Dear Good News:
Got to say, loved the lady when I met her during the Eclipse press tour. Too bad she got that stink rep from "stealing" her Twilight role when fans should be blaming Summit, as usual.

Dear Ted:
I'm stressing with exams right now, so some scoopage on your behalf is seriously needed. I read Angelina's recent interview and found it honest and completely believable. I wanted to know whether you felt it was honest as well. On Robsten news, now that there's finally a Breaking Dawn contract signed by everyone and the movies are actually going to happen, do you think they'll take the opportunity to show their real relationship, or will playing coy be their thing forever?

Dear Study Break:
Love, Angie isn't the type to ever be completely honest. She's all about manipulating the press; don't think this time was any different. But c'mon, do you really think just because some papers have been signed R.Pattz and K.Stew will finally stop playing their fave relaysh game? That is about as naive as Taylor Lautner.

Dear Ted:
I think you may need to look a little more into this Lea Michele-Dianna Agron "friendship." Now I know that girls have superclose friendships, as I have some of my own. However my roommate and I were "close" and we carried on a successfully secret relationship for two years before we finally came out. I mean just look at tour footage...these two characters are supposed to hate one another, yet Lea and Dianna find moments to hold hands, dance together, grope, stare and mess up choreography doing so. None of the other castmembers had trouble staying in character on stage. I love them both, and I know that when there is chemistry it can't be denied! There are several "Achele" shippers out there, so let's see if we can find a little something more on these two shall we?

Dear Lez-Be-Friends:
And I want to cuddle with Ryan Reynolds, but we can't have ‘em all.

Follow Team Awful on Twitter! @theawfultruth @taryder @jtyboone @snarc


Check out more in our Bitch-Back! section!

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share