Alexander Skarsgard, True Blood

John P. Johnson/HBO

Dear Ted:
I am a huge True Blood and Alexander Skarsgård fan, but your post a few months back about his Lady Gaga "fat" comments makes me think he isn't as pretty on the inside as he is on the outside. Was his douchiness an isolated incident, or is he a beautiful, hunky diva?

Dear The Constant Skarsgårdener:
Truth to tell, I don't know what got him being such a tool back then. Both Taryn Ryder and I can attest that Alex is as delightful as they come, and quite the sweetheart. We all have our douchebag days, right?

Dear Ted:
I read that Jake Gyllenhaal turned down the Jake Sully role in Avatar to do Prince of Persia. Is this true, and if so, what the hell was he thinking?! James Cameron surely trumps any Disney film that doesn't have Johnny Depp making a poor script great!

Dear Baad Move:
Yep, it's true. Look, we love Jakey, but lately, the guy takes on movie roles that, quite frankly, suck. And trust, when you ask what the hell he was thinking, we're askin' the same thing, babe.

Dear Ted:
What do you think of Orlando Bloom's engagement?

Dear Shoulda Put a Ring on It:
I think it, and his decision to drop out of Pirates 4, is very Orlando Bloom.

Dear Ted:
Rumors of Jennifer Aniston being pregnant have surfaced—yet again. What's next? A fake Twitter-fueled death hoax? It's just bad when tabloids won't leave that pregnancy rubbish alone. It's not like she has anything out to promote!

Dear Little Orphan Aniston:
Actually, she's got plenty on her plate to pimp out. But pregnancy rumors are just as abundant as the number of Jennifer Aniston romantic comedies out there.

Dear Ted:
What has Priscilla Desert been up to?

Dear Up the Sandbox:
Priscilla's working on her next project. If it's anything like her last one, it'll be huge.

Dear Ted:
Any updates on the Alexander Skarsgård-Kate Bosworth quasi-coupling? This is a few weeks old, but what do you make of him taking her home to Sweden? If it's all a PR sham, how long is it going to continue?

Dear PDAlex:
The two were supposed to show up together to a big event last week, but both of them basically bailed. Maybe they're toning down their appearances so as to, well...keep up appearances? Too much PR can be construed as just for PR, right?

Dear Ted:
Has Nevis Divine ever filmed a movie with Reese Witherspoon?

Dear Moviegoer:
I haven't seen one.

Dear Ted:
I read your Bitch-Back! in reference to Tom Cruise. I vehemently defend him to all those that criticize him. He is the absolute nicest person in the celebrity world and treats all of those who schlep him around extremely well. He is polite, friendly, unpretentious and even apologizes if he runs over schedule. And I have no idea what his relationship with Katie is, but he has been known to personally pick them up from the airport late at night when they've traveled without him. It's nice to see that your assessment matches what I've seen.

Dear Team Tom:
Lovely description, doll. Hopefully, people ease up on the guy—it's a lot easier to make a comeback without the tabloids breathing down your neck.

Dear Ted:
Have you ever used the same celeb as the star of more than one B.V.?

Dear Ifs, Ands, or Blinds:
Only if their first one was revealed.

Dear Ted:
I absolutely love you for taking the time to write an article about what Sophia Bush and Austin Nichols have been doing regarding the Gulf Coast disaster. They've helped bring a lot of attention to the huge mess down there. I have family who live in New Orleans and there is a lot of devastation down there. Every time some sort of a disaster happens, people all over the Internet are always whining and complaining about how Hollywood should be helping and doing something instead of driving around in expensive cars and living in their big houses. Yet the second an actor or actress steps up to help, you have these same people complaining about how they're doing it solely for the wrong reason, which isn't always the case.

Dear Oozin' Compliments:
Thanks, V! Soph and Austin are doing great work, and it pains me to see folks thinking that they're doing it only for the publicity. Everything a celeb does is public, but that doesn't mean that that's all it was meant to be.

Dear Ted:
Is my beloved Jonathan Rhys Meyers the most famous Nevis Divine?

Dear Sex Tudor:
Nope, that he is not.

Dear Ted:
Chris Klein looks nothing like Suri? His alcoholism wouldn't by chance be due to giving up his child with Katie? Just asking!
—Ami and Desmond the Terrier

Dear Bite Your Tongue!:
I've never thought of that—but damn it, puss, that's one effed-up little accusation. Suri is Tom and Katie's.

Dear Ted:
Chace Crawford
's biggest mistake was getting caught in Plano, Texas, which is in Collin County. As someone who works in the legal profession, Collin County is known to be overly aggressive when it comes to prosecution. They just don't make deals. Had he been arrested in Dallas County, he'd be getting a fine and some probation. I guarantee it. But from how I've seen Lindsay Lohan treated in L.A., I can also guarantee Dallas county isn't that lenient. She'd be in jail right now.
—Jennifer, Dallas

Dear Jailbird:
Trust me, I know about Texas. If you check out those poll results, you'll see that most of you are in favor of Chace's punishment. Looks like that's another tick against L.A. for ya.

Dear Ted:
I think I've got it! Is Moisty Mohr Mario Batali? I don't have a rescue pup, but I helped my parents pick one who was left in a box in the snow with her litter mates, and she's now spoiled rotten.

Dear Spoiled Pup:
Hell no! What do you think I'm gonna write about Mario Batali for? Please. Mohr is not a Food Network star, love.

Dear Ted:
I know I'm living under a rock and just watched this year's Tony Awards. It was a bit of a disaster, but I did notice that when Lea Michele walked down the aisle and sang to Jonathan Groff, the man next to him was not his boyfriend, Gavin Creel (also extremely talented for all you Broadway babes). Did they break up or is he on stage somewhere?

Dear Broadway Baby:
Our resident theater junkie Marc Snetiker says: "Um, Gavin's doing Hair in the West End [in London] right now. Why doesn't everyone know this?! Ugh."

Dear Ted:
Just saw a pic of my fave Friend, Matt LeBlanc, a couple of days ago. I thought he looked awesome! Love the silver at the temples, and his face looked thinner than it had been for a while. Is there anything going on professionally (or, far more interesting, personally) with him?

Dear Central Perk:
Matt's signed on to a show called Episodes that'll air on BBC and Showtime. Check out the preview of it on YouTube here.

Dear Ted:
I believe David Schwimmer is trying to stay relevant by getting engaged to a 24-year-old. Agree? Also, Moisty Mohr...maybe Owen Wilson?

Dear Schwimming with Sharks:
Definitely not working, if that's what he's doing. Which I don't believe it is. And Moisty is a mainstream television star, pup. Owen Wilson is not.

Dear Ted:
Is it just me or does anyone else think the Jackson Family does not have Michael's kids' best interests at heart? When he was alive, he literally shielded them from public gaze, and we had no idea what they looked like. But as soon as he died, they are out there for the world to see: giving speeches, accepting awards in front of millions, and we are being told details about their lives. Is M.J. turning in his grave, or am I just a cynic?

Dear Parenting Style:
I agree. And I'm not sure who to side with. M.J.'s parenting techniques were often times atrocious, but he connected with his kids like few parents can. What the Jacksons have done to his brood is not enviable, but it's not tyrannical, either. Maybe it's time for a poll?

Dear Ted:
I love Justin Bieber! He's such a talented cutie, it seems like he's everywhere! Is he as innocent and good as he seems?

Dear Bieb, Please:
The day I write dirty, dirty dish on Justin Bieber is the day that the sun burns out.

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Check out our Bitch-Back! section for more Q&A with Ted!

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