Bitch-Back! Which JoBro is the Wildest?

Readers wonder about the Jonas Brothers, plus Megan Fox and Reese Witherspoon

By Ted Casablanca Jun 21, 2010 12:11 PMTags
Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, The Jonas BrothersRob Hoffman/JBE/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
I often wonder if one of the Jonas Brothers was to let their guard down and have a wild side (maybe they do and just hide it well). Which one do you think it would be? I love them but I often wonder if anyone's image can really be that squeaky clean!
—Alison

Dear Naïve:
Babe, all three of those boys have a wild side—or at least one that's not covered by the paps. Kevin is the tamest (barely), no doubt, but as for the other two, you said it yourself. No one's image can actually be that devoid of dirty, scandalous goo.

Dear Ted:
Megan Fox
is one of the biggest babes in Hollywood, even though a lot of folks can't stand her. But I just saw pictures of her from the Jonah Hex red carpet premiere. And her figure is amazing as always, but the face, Ted. The face is looking reworked and I don't get it. What is going on? Why are these young girls messing with procedures best left alone for the Real Housewives of New Jersey?
—So Confused

Dear BoFoxed?:
I'll admit, Megan did look remarkably Madame Tussaud's-esque at the Hex premiere. But methinks she hasn't actually fallen victim to the Joan Rivers school of beauty just yet.

Dear Ted:
Is Reese Witherspoon a closeted Scientologist or about to become one? I would have never guessed that she and Will Smith would even share the same air let alone have a "working relationship." And isn't she costaring with Tom Cruise in a new film? Tom and Will are both poster boys for the "religion."
—Cbestill

Dear Faith Flopping:
Sure, we're tough on Reesey—with good reason—but the babe better watch her back, considering she's in talks for a new movie based on Scientology. Those folks will not like getting mocked on the big screen.

Dear Ted:
I know Jennifer Aniston's rep denied the rumors that she and Jason Sudeikis are dating, but is there any truth to the story? Was this just made up tabloid garbage, or are the reports true and she and Jason are simply trying to keep it under wraps for the time being? While I'd prefer to see her with someone more behind the scenes, I think she and Sudeikis could make a cute, funny couple. Either way it would be nice to hear of a romance for her—she's been single now for quite some time!
—Anonymous

Dear Funny Girl:
Totally with you here. It's about time Jen goes public with a new beau. As for Jason, he's not exactly mainstream tabloid fodder, so I'm a little more inclined to believe that there's truth to it.

Dear Ted:
I don't quite get how magazines can keep reprinting the same 'They're Engaged' or 'She's Pregnant' story on the same person every two weeks. Kristen's been pregnant for about a year and a half and Jennifer's been adopting for the past five years. Do they really have nothing better to come up with or do they think people still believe them and are going to buy them?
—Rilee

Dear Tabloid Treachery!:
Sweet pie, I've been asking myself that question for awhile now. Yet they keep on selling, despite all the non-babies that shoulda been born, supposedly.

Dear Ted:
What's the deal between Matthew McConaughey and Kenny Chesney? What brought them together?
—Coastal

Dear Southern Gent:
A shared love of...shudder...country music.

Dear Ted:
Thank you for your post showing the motive behind Emma Roberts' treatment of Robert Pattinson. Twilight fans are passionate, as you well know, but the anger of the fans wasn't about her selecting Team Jacob, which is an obviously juvenile reason that the media reported. It was because of her snotty attitude towards Robert. Rob IS a nice guy and she treated him like crap. No one ran her off of Twitter, she can block people. So that's no excuse. She was a snot and was being called on it because us Twi-hards knew her story & why she was treating Rob like she did.
—PG

Dear This Side, That Side:
It's nice to save face, but Team Edward folk got a little too mean on this one. You might as well draw devil horns on poor Emma, since that's what everyone's making her out to be. Let it slide, babes.

Dear Ted:
I have a question about the R.Pattz frenzy. After seeing what happened to Emma Roberts, it seems to me that his rabid fan base may actually hurt his career in the long run. Starting a hate campaign on Twitter is stupid and childish, and people seem to grow tired of actors you can't say an ill word against without reprisals. And, all the people who love him so fervently seem to have an ideal image of him that no one could possibly live up to. Kind of like what happened with Obama, in my opinion. What do you think? Is Robert's flame burning too brightly not to fizzle out?
—Kristen

Dear Self-Fulfilling Prophecy:
Your question has your answer, sweets. The Obama comparison is spot on, but the contradiction—that Rob is on fire and not going anywhere anytime soon, regardless—is just as real.

Dear Ted:
When you said Me-Me Dallas was fooling around with Tobey Yum-Yum whilst with someone, do you mean the odd peck or their previous dressing room antics? And did her boyfriend know?
—Gilded Butterfly

Dear Big-Delicious:
Uh, totally more than just a smooch babe. Just kissing is for kiddies, which Me-Me totally doesn't think she is. As for the other BF—let's just say he would be so pissed if he knew about a little Yum-Yum on the side.

Dear Ted:
Praise be to the Crime-Lab Heavens! Is it truce Eddie Cibrian has been axed from CSI: Miami? I am ever so thankful as I found him painful to watch. Now what I want to know is, did they axe him to bring back a former cast member or was all the dramz in his personal life getting to be too much? Was there any evidence of fan backlash when he was cast?
—Irish

Dear Blood Spatter:
Cibrian's drama was over too long ago for this decision to really relate now. But I'm not saying it was a total non-factor. I'm not the pro on this one. For even more scoop, go see what the ever-so-lovely Kristen has to say about it.

Dear Ted:
Me and my friends are constantly debating on Taylor Lautner...I think he's too goody goody, while they think that he's not as angelic as he looks. That's something which you do seem to confirm in this column...please give some info about his naughty antics!
—Yanuccia

Dear Bookmark It!:
Dear, I've confirmed it plenty of times. Like here. And here. And here. And here.

Dear Ted:
Could you tell us something about David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel's relationship? It really looks like a weird one. Those two even go out hand in hand at public events but he won't do the same with his wife. What's the deal with them?
—Anna

Dear Hard Bones:
Oh, please. They're best friends. Get your mind out of the gutter!

Dear Ted:
What's David Beckham up to now that he has nothing to do due to his injuries? Sure, he's appearing on advertisements and stuff, but does he have any actual career-wise objectives? Or is he now going to simply live off the excessive amounts of dollars he's earned?
—Plpmoichis

Dear Soccer Spender:
Like he's gonna be an actor or something? Not hardly. Admire the guy for sticking to his talent and not trying to abuse his fame by diving into places he doesn't belong. Although, I gotta say, he would make for one hot season of The Celebrity Apprentice.

Dear Ted:
Do you have any dirt on Vanessa Hudgens, and will you be so kind as to spill it?
—Mookindahouse

Dear Hudge School Musical:
If anyone actually buys the innocent act that V-doll has been performing for years, I'll eat my computer. It's harder to prove that she's a good girl, matter o' fact.

Dear Ted:
What do you think about Stephenie Meyer appointing herself as co-producer for Breaking Dawn? I've got to admit, I'm a bit worried. Do you think that Stephenie will help or hinder the production of Breaking Dawn?
—Tammy

Dear Broken Dawn:
Given that it's Stephenie's story and she created the whole damn world of Twilight, I say let her do whatever the hell she wants.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Dina Lohan is paying off the LAPD to keep this latest incident off Lindsay's record?
—M

Dear Lohag:
It's already on the record, toots. And trust, the LAPD has much better things to do than accept a bribe from Dina friggin' Lohan.

Dear Ted:
I'm confused about the whole Niley situation. Miley at times seems a little ticked off at Nick, but he seems to show no emotion. Does he even care about her anymore?
—Lauren

Dear Mick Jonus and Niley Cyras:
Forgive Nick for not wearing his emotions on his sleeve...or, in this case, on his Twitter.

Dear Ted:
Curious as to your reaction regarding the Rachel Bilson/Hayden Christensen "break." Care to reveal his BV now? PS. My two rescued puppy mill dachshunds are interested in your answer as well!
—Maureen

Dear Crying Woof:
What, you think a teensy little breakup like this one is gonna get me to unzip my lips about darling Hayden? Sorry, pups! But, expect the story not to end here.

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