Dome, Jones, PacificCoastNews.comDear Ted:
In a recent Bitch-Back you said Skarsworth were no more that friends with benefits and that it was not a monogamous relationship. Then, today, you talk about how they are in Sweden and serious. I mean, no doubt when you bring a girl home to meet the family, it's serious. Why and how were you so off on this couple? It just worries me that if you are so off on them, you could be off-base on other celebs.
—kissez
Dear Skarsworth's No. 1 Fan:
Who's off? Sure, perhaps you think I'm wrong, but, darling, trust, these two are hardly only schtupping each other, which you can take any way you like—as they all apply.
Dear Ted:
I'm a Twilight fan, but the normal kind, not a Twi-hard at all. I like the idea of Robsten, but their love life is not my biz. Same thing with the Supernatural boys. I was reading the wedding news and thought that Jensen Ackles could do a really good job as Garrett in Breaking Dawn part two. Garrett is an American vampire rebel that goes all advocate in the last battle scene. Since I read the book, I pictured him doing the part. What do you think about it?
—Dani
Dear Cult for Cult:
Supernatural and Twilight combining forces? I think the world would implode. Although you claim to be a normal fan, I read the books, too, and I can't remember a Garrett to save my life. But I'll take your word for it. Anything to bring cutie Ackles to the big screen.
Dear Ted:
After watching the recent PSA of Daniel Radcliffe for the Trevor Project, I have to ask: Is Harry Potter secretly wishing he was kissing Ron instead of Ginny? I love that kid! Lots of talent, and I really respect that he and the rest of the cast are able to keep their noses clean and out of the tabs (that is, unless they want to be there).
—H.P. Fan
Dear Harry Likes Boys:
Just because Radcliffe donated his presh time to help out a fab LGBTQ group doesn't mean he falls into one of those categories. I mean, lots of celebs like Brad Pitt and Charlize Theron campaign for gay marriage…
Dear Ted:
We have spent the last two decades fighting the stigma of HIV/AIDS. Yet, you totally play up the "eww" and "ick" factor of herpes. Why the double-standard? You are probably offending a large percentage of your readers (as herpes is common). People come here for entertainment; nobody wants to be made to feel like a social leper.
—Marie
Dear Solid Point:
Never thought of it like that babe, and since, what, one in four people have the herp. I certainly don't want some readers to feel alienated. But what is a tad gross is how interconnected everyone in friggin' Hollywood is. Everybody's slept with everybody!
Dear Ted:
So what do you think will happen to Lindsay Lohan at her court date this week? Has she really hit bottom like Robert Downey Jr. did when he finally went to jail? Will she get another chance, or will her attorney get her off on a technicality of some sort?
—J
Dear Parent Trap:
You probably have more concern for L2 than her friends or family do. She has a few more tumbles ahead of her before she hits rock bottom. Only hope for the babe is that she realizes she needs to clean up her act. She won't do it for someone else. I have a feeling she'll come out of the most recent court battle unscathed. Hollywoodites usually do.
Dear Ted:
Have any of the celebs with pseudonyms you write about ever confronted you over what you have written?
—K
Dear Good Question:
Nope, only some of their publicists, which, if you think about it, is stupidly funny.
Dear Ted:
Love that Austin Nichols has been the subject of a Blind Vice! I've liked him since The Day After Tomorrow, but I don't know much about him. Can you give us a hint about his B.V.?
—B. Davis
Dear Not Over the Hill:
It's a juicy one!
Dear Ted:
Do you think Alexander Skarsgård is going to pop the question to Kate Bosworth? I hear someone who runs a fansite is keeping a secret about him that will be revealed soon.
—Nosy and obsessed
Dear Secret's Out:
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's not the secret.
Dear Ted:
Most people are talking about cosmetic surgery in relation to Hollywood, but what about the men? The hairline on George Clooney and Brad Pitt seems to be completely immobile, unlike that of the average man. Good genes or a visit to the doctor?
—B
Dear Funny One:
Not their biggest secrets, by far.
Dear Ted:
A few weeks ago I asked you what was your guess was on how much longer Skarsworth were going to last. You were of the belief that their relationship wasn't that serious and were on the fast track to splitsville. Well now he took her home to Sweden. I don't know about you, but this signals to me that there is something much more serious between them. You don't take the girl on a several-thousand-mile, multihour plane trip if she's just a FWB. What gives?
—BronxBetty
Dear Not-So-Secret Getaway:
Think about it in relation to that of, say, Robsten. When Rob and Kristen get out of town, they like it to be low-key and private. Skarsworth practically invite the paparazzi along. Coachella lovefest anyone? Don't you think it's fishy that practically every media outlet got the "inside" scoop on a trip they made across the world? And people say Robsten is for publicity, sheesh.
Dear Ted:
Is Nevis Divine capable of sublimating his same-sex desires and actually able to commit long term to a girlfriend? Is he primarily straight and has just dabbled with guys in the past?
—Penny
Dear Stumped:
I think Nevis is more about people's minds than bods. Guaranteed he'll dabble with whomever he finds interesting, be it guy or girl. I don't think Nevis is gay, how ‘bout that?
Dear Ted:
Do many closeted stars marry their beards? Seems a bit extreme to go as far as marriage, but I suppose stranger things have happened. Is this a common practice?
—Em
Dear Duh:
Um yes, have you read the column before?
Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Jim Carrey? I have two cats that we rescued, and we love them like mad. Hope that counts toward an answer!
—Anna
Dear Nice Try:
But no! Kisses to your furry ones for me.
Dear Ted:
Seriously, when will E! ban the Lindsay Lohan spiral? Who cares about anyone this delusional. Write about her when she gets back to work. Until then, please report on anything else!
—Make the path
Dear Baby Steps:
How about we ban her in the column? Unless she does something newsworthy or gets her crap together, you won't read about her routine antics here. Anybody up for that?