Bitch-Back! Is Jen Keeping Her Lips Zipped?

Readers wonder what Aniston knows about her ex

By Ted Casablanca May 07, 2010 11:41 AMTags
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Dear Ted:
Has Jennifer Aniston ever been a Blind Vice? Also, though I'm sure every once in a while it hurts what Brad did to her, I think she really has moved on. My question is, I'm sure Jen could have said a lot worse to the press than "he's missing a sensitivity chip" if she wanted to about Brad. Do you think she has anything on him that she could have let slip, if she really wanted revenge? I swear, there are a whole lot of secrets in Brad's closet that Jen could have spilled. What's your take?

Dear Ex-Factor:
Trust, Jennifer definitely took the (more) dignified route in this divorce debacle—of course, when you're married to someone for five years, you learn a few of their dirty little secrets, like what Brad liked doing down in Laguna from time to time. But, Jen A. has too much class to blab his business to the press. Plus, it totally wouldn't mesh with her laid back 'tude.

Dear Ted:
I don't think it's fair to say that Chely Wright came out just to sell her book and music. I'm no country music fan, so I'd never heard of her. But I did bother to take five minutes to read an interview. She's been around for like 15 years and started writing her book three years ago when she couldn't take hiding her sexuality anymore. Part of her fear was that country music fans wouldn't accept it, so coming out seems somewhat counterproductive to selling her CDs. But the book is coming out now, and she is finally owning her sexuality, so she kind of has to address it publicly, no?

Dear Fame Game:
Sure, it was probably a relief for her to finally be open about her sexuality, but you said it yourself, you'd never heard of her—and neither had a lot of People readers. Well, guess who's heard of her now?

Dear Ted:
I just wanted to say you are my lifesaver! My husband is deployed with the Army and I am raising our two kids by myself right now. When I read your column, it makes me forget about all the stresses. So I was wondering, after looking at the Last Real Man in Hollywood if Johnny Depp has ever been a Blind Vice?

Dear Depp Drama:
Nope, though I'm sure it's never been by any design on Depp's part. He's like Jen Aniston, only with more talent. Totally cool and chill, and he doesn't care if people think he's bi just because he wears makeup more often than not without any prob.

Dear Ted:
Does this "mystery diet" have to do with popping something like the college kids do before taking exams do, or is it on the other hand similar to tossing your cookies?

Dear Weigh- Loss Wonders:
Let's just say those college kids wouldn't be getting A's if they were on this "diet."

Dear Ted:
As a huge Anne Hathaway fan and follower of your blog, I wonder if the brainy babe has ever been a Blind Vice. To me, she and her BF don't smell quite right. Am I on to something?

Dear Blind and Brainy:
Not here, babycakes. Hathaway really is as she appears: bit of a prude (but in a totally cute way!) and all about the work.

Dear Ted:
After watching American Idol these last two nights, I believe I have found the perfect replacement for Simon. Harry Connick Jr., and was wondering if you would agree? I think he would spice up the show. And he's a nice piece of eye candy.

Dear American't Idol:
Sure, HCJ is great and all, but I'm pretty sure A.I. is on its last leg, especially after Paula skipped on the competition—the talent of the kids is a draw, but nothing compared to the judges, Simon's 'tude and Paula's eye shadow and chemical intakes being the most notorious.

Dear Ted:
Love you and I love you it every day. So my question is about Rob and Kristen: As we all know, they along with the entire Eclipse cast will be on Oprah, so what do you think the chances are of her getting them to admit that they are a couple? I think that if anyone could do it, Oprah could. Also I have an adopted dog, Greta, and an adopted cat, Stella, and I love how you are so pro-adoption. It's the best.

Dear Big O:
I wouldn't put it past Oprah to bring up the on-set dating rumors, but just expect vague answers from Robsten and not a whole lotta pressing from O. I mean, what are they going to say, "Only if you tell us what's really up with Stedman?" Also, you know how Robsten likes to play the game, and just because they're doing the most watched daytime chatfest ever, they won't change their rules. And bless you for adopting your critters, well done!

Dear Ted:
It seems like all the B.V.s eventually will have one person that is the majority guess on the identity. Which one is completely wrong?

Dear Guessing Game:
one? Hardly!

Dear Ted:
I recently saw Miley Cyrus' new music video for "Can't Be Tamed," and all I can say is whoa. I understand she wants to step out of her Hannah Montana persona and mature in her music and movie career, but maturing doesn't necessarily mean becoming sexual. I am around her same age and even I was taken aback. I know sex sparks controversy, but she has to take into account that most of her fan base is little girls and some teens. There is a way to mature and it doesn't mean slutting it up. But I do have to admit her song has been stuck in my head.

Dear Titillating Teen:
She's definitely ditched her Disney squeaky-clean image (long time ago), but, c'mon, between Miley's recent performances and her penchant for booty shorts, was the video anything that surprising? Can't say I was terribly shocked.

Dear Ted:
There seems to be a Disney double standard. The Jonas Brothers are always the butt of jokes for their purity rings, and when the subject Miley is brought up, she is always called slutty by at least one person. Why is that?

Dear Disney Double:
Isn't that the case with all things celebrity, though? Has to be one extreme or the other—gay or straight, fat or thin. People don't like to look at the gray area...and in H'wood there is a lot that falls into that fuzzy arena.

Dear Ted:
I'm not sure if nobody's asking or you're not telling, but I'm still dying to know who Quidget and Bridget Barks-a-Little and Harry and La-Feelya Fun-Tanked are! Are La-Feelya and Quidget still messing around? Have they told their respective spouses about their relationship? If so, has Bridget thrown Quidget to the curb like you said she would? So many questions...I'd love one or more answers. Smooches!

Dear Cheater Cheater:
Yes. Yes (but not all). No. Smooches back!

Dear Ted:
Have you seen that video of Gabourey Sidibe leaving the airport? She's only been in one movie and already seems like a huge diva! Is she as nice as she wants us to believe, or is it all just an act?

Dear Taking Off:
, how's the girl supposed to act when being bombarded by paparazzi who ask her whether she'd rather be called Gabby or Precious? The babe is supersweet and down-to-earth, a rarity in this town. So sue her for being confident with herself, why don't you.