Christina Aguilera

If Christina Aguilera's recent pit stop at the Puppetry of the Penis gave us a sneak peak of how down and dirty the mommy could get, well, we still weren't prepared for the new look she's rocking in her "Not Myself Tonight" video.

The video is set to debut tonight at midnight, but Xtina's official website spent the week riling fans by releasing teases from the video. They show the pop star licking a riding crop, straddling a bondage babe and crawling on her hands and knees toward a bowl of milk.

So would you do Xtina bound, gagged and loving it?

What's the safe word? Because we want to get the hell out of Xtina's little venture into S&M.

The blond babe is trying way too hard, and not in that "A for effort" kind of way (tho we're sure even the mention of grades will give Tina a reason to turn this into a naughty schoolgirl fantasy).

Shocker (and we don't mean that in the dirty way, Aguilera) that the chick's resorted to these antics—the single is a snore and isn't exactly blowing up the charts. Reader's Digest version: "Not Myself Tonight" is Britney's "If U Seek Amy" for senior citizens.

Christina may be able to brush off the buzz that she's trying to copy Lady Gaga's look, but she's the only one. While everyone bitches C.A.'s similarities to Lady G, we have a bigger problem with this new 'tude.

Christina isn't just copying L.G., she's hoping to bank of anything popular these days to make her sham of a comeback a success. Case in point: In one setup, the nearly nude lady appears to be sporting a set of vamp fangs because, between Twilight and True Blood, the undead are so hot right now.

The girl can sing, we all know that—so why not focus on her voice instead of lame "sex sells" strategies? Because from a purely economic point of view, sex only sells when it's sexy.

And even with whips and chains, reeking of desperation is not sexy.

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PHOTOS: Fashion Spotlight: Christina Aguilera.

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