Bitch-Back! What's Taylor Swift Really Up To?

Readers wonder if T.Swift is really as nice as she seems

Dear Ted:
Taylor Swift has been lying kind of low after lots of reports of her with various guys. It seems no one really knows for sure who she's with, and she hasn't allowed questions about her personal life for a long time. She tweeted about being back in LA to shop for "door knobs." Who in their right mind flies from Vegas to LA (probably on a private jet) just to shop for door knobs? I know her rumored last interests are in LA i.e. Mayer and Monteith, but no one has spotted her with either recently. I imagine she has the means to avoid any exposure of her with guys if she wants, so I think those sightings of her with Cory were staged by her or her people. And it seems odd to me how far out of the way she and her people went to avoid her being ever seen with Mayer after January's reports. It seems to me that there's a lot behind the sweet-girl facade. Is she ripe for a B.V.?
—F

Dear Swiftly Single:
You're right about a couple of things: Tay totally could fly under the radar if she wanted to keep her latest boy-toy a secret and her people definitely heard the major uproar when rumors of a fling with Mayer started. And while she may be super sweet, she's a teenage girl after all (and in H'wood, no less)—they've all got secrets, no? Count on it.

Dear Ted:
So curious about these new fan photos of Kristen Stewart and a possible Michael Angarano at Coachella. True, the photos are from the back at a dark concert, but there seems to be a lot of buzz about these pics. Seems unlikely mere days after flying to Budapest to be with someone else. Thoughts? Info? Complete debunking? (Please?)
—AMD

Dear Debunked:
M.A. was M.I.A. when it comes to Coachella. There's a reason all the pictures are blurry, dark, or from behind—to keep the speculation going where there is none.

Dear Ted:
Hi Ted! I'm a huge fan of Star Trek (not to mention the Awful Truth), and I thought the new cast was great! Has Chris Pine or Zachary Quinto ever been a Blind Vice? Best to you.
—Ali

Dear Beam Me Up:
No and no but soon and soon.

Dear Ted:
After reading your piece about K.Stew taking over Angie's role in Wanted, it made me recall that Kristen was actually in the movie Jumper with Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen. I loved that movie and I love Kristen. Any chance of a sequel with her at the center of it?
—Shana

Dear Sordid Sequel:
Don't count on it, babe. Jumper wasn't exactly a critical or box-office hit. K.Stew can do better than that, don't you think?

Dear Ted:
I need a pick me up. I started feeding a stray cat that was pregnant a few weeks ago. She gave birth and unfortunately none of the kittens made it. She has been lying on my porch for 2 days so this morning I dropped her off at the vet for a checkup and to get spayed. So, I will have a new roommate soon and hopefully I can cheer her up. Now cheer me up and tell me, has Mark Salling ever been a BV?
—Curious

Dear Vice in F Flat:
Can't say he has—sorry to disappoint. But those Glee kids are just itching to make their mark on the Blind Vice annals. And, sweetheart, thanks for being such a great mom to your kitty, she needs extra love right now.

Dear Ted:
I was just wondering if our very own child doctor, Doogie Howser, is really as domestic as he acts. Do you have any dirt on Neil Patrick Harris? I heard he's not as squeaky clean as he'd like you to believe.
—HauteBetch

Dear NPH Naughty or Nice:
The guy's in a committed relaysh and spends his down time working on magic tricks—how naughty could he be?

Dear Ted:
Is Seymour Plow-Me-More Billy Crystal?
—S

Dear Negative:
Good guess—Seymour and Billy both have super recognizable names. But Seymour's is probably a bit more famous.

Dear Ted:
Every time I see Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger out and about I think they are so cute together. I've loved Pacey Witter since the Dawson's Creek days, and Diane seems very chill. Please tell me that they're as down to Earth and happy as they seem—or at least they are by Hollywood standards!
—Jack

Dear Canoodling Couple:
One is.

Dear Ted:
Team Selena or Demi? I think Demi and Selena are no longer friends because of their previous and present beaus and friends. Selena rekindled her romance with Nick Jonas who's ex was Miley, who's friends with Demi. Now Demi is going out with Joe who was Taylor's ex who happens to be Selena's friend. It's sad to see how Hollywood affects friendships, one day you're in then out. Someone tell these girls chicks before, well, you know.
—Faye

Dear Teen Catfight:
So Team Miley isn't an option then? Why?

Dear Ted:
Has Taylor Kitsch ever been a B.V.? Thanks!
—Keely

Dear Football Fantasies:
Being so sexy, you'd think he'd be full of naughty secrets, huh? Hate to say he hasn't had a Blind Vice yet, tho.

Dear Ted:
Who would you say is Nelly Fang's main fan base? Would they really turn on him, so to speak, if they found out he was bisexual? I would like to think we are all beyond hating or turning on someone because they are gay/lesbian/bi, etc. If Nelly Fang is who I think he is, I don't think his fan base would hate on him...I actually think they'd be very accepting. I don't see what the big deal is, anyway. If Anna Paquin can do it, Nelly can, too.
—Courtney

Dear Come Out Come Out:
Wish it were that easy, but it's that same old double-standard, as always. Nelly is a dude, while Anna is a hot chick. It's always—or at least, for now—going to be easier for the babes to come out as bi than the dudes, no matter what his fan base is. Stinks.

Dear Ted:
Is Kate Hudson pregnant? All this talk about boob jobs and she has gained weight. Can you confirm or deny?
—November

Dear Baby Mama Drama:
And ruin all her fun? No way.

Dear Ted:
I'm the proud mother of three rescue dogs, all gorgeous and all spoiled. My question is regarding Nevis Devine's girlie. I gather that she's been the star of her own BV but is she into girl-on-girl action as well? Love your column...read it all the time!
—Josie

Dear Lady Love:
I'll just say this, to be down with Nevis's sexy shenanigans, the babe's got to be pretty open minded, right? And she is. Very.