American Idol giveth, and American Idol taketh away.
Just because Wednesday's show was a warm-hearted, all-star event to benefit poverty- and disease-fighting charities in the U.S. and Africa, it doesn't mean there wasn't a stone-cold elimination at night's end.
There were treats aplenty beforehand, including testimonials from Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck and Morgan Freeman; music from Alicia Keys, the Black Eyed Peas and Carrie Underwood, and the generosity of Russell Brand and Jonah Hill, who used their clout to get imaginary friends Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and "both hot guys from Twilight" to answer phones.
"We emailed all those people, but the emails may have gone to the spam file because our email address is firstname.lastname@example.org," Hill admitted sheepishly when Ryan Seacrest called them out on all the empty chairs.
Later, they were able to scrape Slash, Octomom and Jim Carrey together—but that, too, only prolonged the final results for Crystal Bowersox, Lee Dewyze, Casey James, Aaron Kelly, Michael Lynche, Siobhan Magnus and Tim Urban.