Remember when Wisteria Lane was a hot property? Remember when you cared about Desperate Housewives?
Yeah, neither did we. And then came this bombshell week.
Nicollette Sheridan, your alleged pain is our gain.
We are hardly the first to observe that Sheridan's lawsuit against Housewives honcho Marc Cherry is way more compelling than whatever was up with Susan, Mike and Dana Delany. (No, we never did bother to learn her character's name—so sue us, if you'll pardon the expression).
Cherry clocking Sheridan?!
Sheridan requesting "protection"?!
Cherry hoping that "Teri Hatcher gets hit by a car and dies"?!
With all due respect to the respective parties, this is great stuff!
It goes without saying that if Desperate Housewives had been this cruelly real, like it was back in the dead Mary Alice beginning, we'd still be watching instead of not knowing Dana Delany's TV name. (All right, we looked it up, it's Katherine, who, yes, moved to Paris last month and blah blah blah.)
What may not be apparent, however, is how geeked we now are to go back and catch up on pretty much everything that happened after the show fast-forwarded five years.
Were there missed signs of unrest? Anyone blinking out distress signals, against all odds and Botox treatments? Were those real live wires Sheridan's Edie got fried with?
Hey, this could be fun! We might even tune in Sunday night!
Oh, wait—the show's not on this weekend.
Probably just as well. It'll leave us with more time to read Ted Casablanca's Desperate Housewives scoop.
Can't say the show's not good for something these days.
Get a glimpse of what's coming up on shows you actually still watch in our Spoiler Stills: TV gallery.