Bitch-Back! Disney Gets More Incestual?

What's up with Hilary and Joe? Brad and Angie?

By Ted Casablanca Jan 27, 2010 2:00 PMTags
Joe Jonas, Hilary DuffJordan Strauss/Getty Images, Ben King/

Dear Ted:
Is there anything going on between Hilary Duff and Joe Jonas or is it just a rumor? I know he has stated it's a rumor, but Joe and Hilary would make a hot couple.

Dear Bridge of Disney Generations:
I'm gonna take Joe's word on this one and say nada. These two so would not happen, dollface, for many reasons. Don't you know that?

Dear Ted:
Can you help me out with two questions please? Are Will Smith and Jada really as into each other as they pretend to be? Like 100 percent? Also David Beckham and Victoria; how is their marriage really coping since his alleged affair with Rebecca Loos? I don't believe for one minute that he has cleaned up his act that much!

Dear One Degree of Tom Cruise:
Interesting couples you picked there. Let's just say both marriages have their issues, but they are totally different. In many agreed-upon ways.

Dear Ted:
Is Dwayne Johnson Toothy Tile? I could not help notice his teeth do look like bathroom tiles, they are so big and white.

Dear Tooth Fairy:
No, Toothy isn't that steroid-looking. Like, at all (at least not in real life).

Dear Ted:
Jeez, what a horrible picture of the Brange in your last B-Back! You couldn't pick a better one? This one makes Angie look so pale you'd think she'd been shooting heroin! Love ya bunches!

Dear Photowrecktic:
Hey, we can't all have good days every day.

Dear Ted:
Is Orlando Bloom a B.V. or has he ever been one?

Dear Tense Confused:
But of course he has, darling! And how.

Dear Ted:
What is wrong with Taylor Momsen? She used to be the cute kid from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, but now she is just blabbing her mouth about how she doesn't care if she influences kids in a bad way. Maybe Miley isn't the one parents should be scolding but Taylor, because after all, "she doesn't care."

Dear Gossiped-About Girl:
I totally agree with you. The only difference is Miley is idolized by millions more people than Momsen. Taylor's on a one-season hit show. Have you seen the ratings? Not that many people are paying attention to her…which is a good thing.

Dear Ted:
I know that you love Robsten and Twilight. So I was wondering, have you ever read any of the Twilight fan fiction out there? I'm 25, and I love the sexy side of Twilight/Edward/Bella. These writers are amazing, and they fill that sex void that us older Twi-hards need! I only read the rated-M ones…if you haven't, you should go and check them out. And the ladies at Twigasm can give you some great recommendations! Take the time to check it won't regret it!

Dear Fan Freaked Out:
Darling, all I want to know is what did prissy-ass Stephenie Meyer's face look like when she heard her sexless Bella and Edward had sparked.

Dear Ted:
I love the Toothy Tile saga, but one thing really puzzles me: Why doesn't Toothy tell the public about Baby Tile. Is it because he values his privacy and wants to protect his child (or children) from the paparazzi? Or is it because he's protecting that closet of his? And if the latter, what kind of parent does that to their own child?
Wondering in New York

Dear Ask Candy Spelling:
She could probably 'splain a thing or two about how public figures treat their own kids. But obviously Toothy wants to barricade himself in that cozy preppy closet of his. If he tells the public about Baby Tile, then that sweet little kid (not to mention's Toothy's supposedly bachelor ways) will be stalkarazzi'd no matter what.

Dear Ted:
Please tell me that Nelly Fang isn't Kiefer Sutherland!

Dear Too Short:
Definitely not.

Dear Ted:
I'm a new Awful Truth convert and am starting to get hip to your lingo! So, you've said before that pretty much all of Hollywood's men have two-way streets; what about Brad Pitt?

Dear Go-Getter:
How am I supposed to answer that?

Dear Ted:
Why are you being so quiet about Brad and Angie? What gives?

Dear Loud and Clear:
I wouldn't exactly say I'm being quiet with today's item. Nor have I ever been mum on these two.

Dear Ted:
Can you please give a hint as to which B.V. Reese Witherspoon has been the star of? I know it can't be a major hint....but just a little one...? And what's the deal with Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon splitting up?

Dear Love Is Blind:
Reese has been in a B.V. more than once. As for Tim and Susan…if Gyllenspoon can split, then anything is possible, right?


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