Ed Westwick, Jessica Szohr

James Devaney/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
What in the world is going on over at the CW? Four hookups: Two dating couples in Sophia Bush/Austin Nichols and Ed Westwick/Jessica Szohr and two engaged couples in Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris and Jared Padalecki/Genevieve Cortese. Seems a little coincidental. Is it possible they're all for real?

Dear Mini List:
And don't forget Blake Lively and Penn Bagdley. Plus, there have been a lot more behind-the-scenes hookups than you'd know. Chalk it up to the CW casting horny kids? As well as something a little less impetuous, more designing, to be sure.

Dear Ted:
Why do you have to drag Kristen's name with every promotional pic about Remember Me? Don't you feel it's inappropriate because it's not her movie? It's like you are under their payroll, using Kristen's name for promotion for this awful movie (R.M.)? Will you kindly answer us, what's your motive? You're being unfair because Kristen's movies never use Rob's [name] for any PR (she doesn't need). Kindly answer me because it's disturbing!

Dear Shocking:
Really fascinating, you're one of the only people to write in who has ever bashed Rob and not K.Stew. Don't blame me—blame whoever was setting Rob up in the same mooning poses he did in every single one of the Twilight flicks.

Dear Ted:
Jeremy Piven
and January Jones? This is such an odd couple, do you have any scoop behind this pairing?

Dear Makes 2 of Us:
Just that don't expect for it to last long. Like, at all. In fact, I'd be shocked if it would ever happen again! Blame it on the alcohol. That is, if anything was able to happen between them, if you catch me.

Dear Ted:
So do other actors actually know about Toothy Tile's secret or is it top secret among his family and close friends?

Dear Hush-Hush:
People know.

Dear Ted:
I have been a faithful follower of your website for the past two years. However, the comments about Sarah Palin have struck a nerve for me and I imagine the other conservatives who frequent your site for Robsten news. I suggest avoiding political statements or questions for anyone.

Dear Political Pal:
Uh, there's this thing called tax. It eats more of my paycheck than Kirstie Alley does buttered corn. And for that very expensive privilege, I reserve the American right to speak out on what's done with those tax dollars, especially about politicians gunning for the job to control them.

Dear Ted:
Why are you so sure Robert Pattinson might show up at Sundance? Do you know something we don't?

Dear Not Anymore:
Heard it was a distinct possibility. But, again, that was before Haiti.

Dear Ted:
Is Grey Goose Victor Garber? I get that vibe from him. Thanks.
Lynn Milford, Connecticut 

Dear Negative:
Sorry, so not him! Decades off.

Dear Ted:
We are approaching the fifth anniversary of the Toothy Tile Blind Vice in less than two months. Here we are with a bittersweet taste. It's sweet Toothy is still with the same boyfriend and they have a family together, but it's bitter they are still closeted and bearding. Had you ever imagined when you wrote the first item that Toothy would become the main Blind Vice superstar? Do you plan to do anything special for the Toothy blind item birthday?
TT/GG/BT fan

Dear Sentimental:
Spank him, in his birthday suit, in the men's room at Barneys. Or do you think I should plan something more grand?

Dear Ted:
These days I've been hearing Leighton Meester's name a lot in the media, and not always in a good way. I'm curious to know, has she ever been a Blind Vice, Ted?
I heart 

Dear Gossiped Girl:
Can't say she has. Though she's clearly dying to be one.

Dear Ted:
Is Nevis Devine Daniel Radcliffe?

Dear New One:
Great guess! But wrong guy. Thanks for bringing Nevis back though, actually forgot about him (he's been burying himself in boys and booze for a bit).

Dear Ted:
It shames me to say it, but you are my guilty pleasure. You seem to have a strong (negative) opinion about Jennifer Garner, but I wonder if she really is as bad as you report. She has seemingly good relationships with class acts like Victor Garber, Greg Grunberg, J.J. Abrams from her Alias days. What's the truth (if one can even really know in Hollywood)?

Dear Begrudging Garner:
Notice how they're all men. She just tries to be the sweetest thing, but she's not. Think the antithesis of Reese Witherspoon. Both gals are totally conniving and brilliant behind the scenes. But with Reese, even though you know you're being manipulated, you still friggin' heart her. Not so with Garner.

Dear Ted:
It seems to me that, whatever the reasoning may be for the recent...developments regarding Jackles and their ladies, that their plans might be backfiring. It's starting to seem like a day can't go by without new information pouring out of one source or another, and the quiet rumblings of discontent grow louder and louder, and everything is getting more convoluted. Do you think all of this will ever implode and blow sky-high? Or are the rumblings just mindless aftershocks that we needn't worry about? Whichever the case may be, I hope the boys get their happy ending.

Dear Know It All:
By all means, honey, do share.

Dear Ted:
I absolutely love you and the Awful Truth—please reassure me that your BVs are true if not hidden Hollywood stories. I think Hollywood's a zoo and one can only imagine the sort of messes that get mucked around that town! I do have a question for you on Judas Jack-Off: Why would he agree to marriage with Dashed Dingle-Dream in the first place, only to quickly back down once his handlers give the thumbs-down? How heartless can someone be! He must really be a total d-bag, as you've hinted many times. Please tell me that DDD has dusted himself off and moved on to bigger and better things. Hottie rugby player Gareth Thomas is out and looking for a BF—maybe we can play matchmaker for DDD! LOL, would serve JJO right! I've got a feeling that JJO will regret his tacky move when all is said and done.

Dear Hopeless Romantic:
Oh, darlin', he already does, especially since that deal Judas made selling his soul to the devil for a career hasn't entirely panned out.

Dear Ted:
Is Crescent Kumquat taller than Kristen Bell?

Dear Yes:
But who isn't?

Dear Ted:
Please back off of your Palin posts. There are many of us out here in the "flyover" states who agree with her that our country is going in the wrong direction towards nanny-statehood. And that while Obama's favorite pastime is Bush-blaming, he can certainly blame (thank) W. for being such a poor president that the country would elect such an inexperienced man based on his intelligence, good looks, and above all, party affiliation. Palin gave one horrible interview (she admits), but handily beat Biden in their debate. I think the jury is still out for her. The jury is still out on Obama also, but many of us are scared out of our wits with his far-left leanings. Please stay out of the fray! We adore you for your gossip, but we will leave you over your politics.
One of the nameless rabble

Dear I Love You Anyway:
So, let me get this straight, as it were: You're allowed a political view but I'm not? Darling, that's not a request, that's a Palinism!

Dear Ted:
What is going on between Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler? They seemed really close at the Golden Globes. I think they make a great couple, what do you think?

Dear NO:
Nothing going on there. Gerard is a huge man-whore. Don't you think Jen should move on from the John Mayer types and get serious already? She'd better soon, or those slits up her thigh are gonna start attracting the likes of Tony Curtis.


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