Bitch-Back! What's Really Going on in Brangeville?

Shiloh and R.Pattz spark intense reader concern

By Ted Casablanca Jan 15, 2010 3:29 PMTags
Brad Pitt, Shiloh Jolie-PittAmanda Schwab/Startraksphoto.com

Dear Ted:
Brangelina
dresses their beautiful blond little girl Shiloh has a boy. And people are so mean that they are saying on the blogs that little Shiloh is having a gender problem, that she is transgender. These haters are attacking a little girl because her parents dress her with boy clothes. Ted, please ask your Brangelina sources if there is something going on with Shiloh. To stop haters voices.
kiss

Dear Overreacting Bloggers:
Please, who didn't have dressing issues when they were a kid? I did. Taryn even wore green and pink elephant spandex pants up to her chest for two years. It's hardly a big deal. Shiloh probably picks out things she likes to wear. Give her a couple of years, but it's hardly something to criticize a little girl about.

Dear Ted:
I thought you agreed Graydon Carter ruined Vanity Fair, yet you also follow him by reporting Levi Johnston's trash talking as truth? Do you really believe any woman calls her Down child "retard?" Especially a 45-year-old mother of four and governor of Alaska who chose to not abort said "retard." I think for that at least she should be admired. If you must trash Palin, then do so for allowing her teenage daughter to drink and screw around with trash like Levi Johnston!
SeaBee

Dear Heat of the Moment:
One has nothing to do with the other. Yes, I agree Graydon's just mooching, all these years later, off of what brilliant Tina Brown created, but that doesn't mean what his staff reports Levi as saying is to be immediately discarded. Levi had extraordinarily inside access to the Palins, so his claims should not be dismissed outright.

Dear Ted:
As a huge R.Pattz fan I can't help but wonder why haven't we seen him in any advertising since he became the sexiest man alive (at least in my humble opinion, I'm sure I'm not alone)...I mean, I know he's super busy and hasn't had many breaks since then, but he could've done it if he wanted, couldn't he? Hasn't he received any good offers or is he just turning them all down? I can totally picture him dazzling us in some Hugo Boss new fragrance campaign! But I'm afraid I'll start seeing that annoying show-off Taylor Lautner getting these jobs instead of Rob! Can it be?
Tab

Dear Ball's in Rob's Court:
Rob is still hot stuff right now; he can get practically whatever he wants. I suspect he hasn't had time to shoot campaigns. He's gotten, what, like a month break, and I think he wants just that. A break. Tay-Tay seems more desperate to stay in the limelight during his time off. I don't doubt you're right that he'll nab a deal first.

Dear Ted:
Parrish Maguire's identity is driving me crazy, and I'm thinking maybe it could be Sebastian Stan? Hot, cold or absolutely frigid?
Daylyn

Dear Try, Try Again:
So cold.

Dear Ted:
Like most everyone, I'm a Twi fan but have discovered The Vampire Diaries on TV. Have you seen it? Yes, they borrowed a lot from Twilight, but it's a real hot show. I look forward to it every week and the main characters have a lot more chemistry than R and K, in my opinion. I would really like to know more about Paul Wesley, who plays Stefan, so please tell everything. I think he would have made a better Edward than you know who.
H

Dear Brave One:
I totally agree; Paul is smokin'! And a nice guy too. As for his secrets, the jury is still out on that one.

Dear Ted:
Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge Kristen Stewart fan and hope she has a long and promising career, but her lip chewing is out of control. In every movie she's in, she chews, sucks and licks her lips. At first I thought it was a teenager phase that she'd soon grow out of, but she licks her lips even in the latest Runaways trailer. Is this bad for her acting career, or is it sexy and we should applaud her for sticking with her signature gesture?
Addict

Dear Attention to Detail:
Everyone talks about that, but I tend not to notice it. I'm gonna go with bad habit her acting coach is going to make her quit before it's her signature gesture.

Dear Ted:
What's with John Cusack? Is he loony or does he have Jack Nicholson syndrome or what? Please advise.
Michelle

Dear Say Anything:
He's brilliant and just doesn't like playing the tabloid game—yes, just like Jack.

Dear Ted:
Please already have your webmasters fix your blog so that clicking on a blog post opens a new screen. It is so annoying to have to constantly hit the back button and scroll down to where I left off, only the repeat the process for another post. Frankly, I'd read a lot more of your posts if your blog had this "new screen" or "new tab" feature. The way it is currently I am discouraged from reading posts. It's too annoying and very time consuming. I think you'd get way more clicks if you changed.
A Fan

Dear Noted:
Uh, you reading this, techies?

Dear Ted:
Lots of snark over Melissa Rosenberg's script writing, but might the fans be to blame? I thought the Twilight movie topped a lot of the dialogue in the book, which is pretty cringe-inducing at times. (The movie kiss was much better than the book's kiss.) But rabid fans lit up the message boards over M.R.'s writing. So, she says she couldn't ignore the fans when writing New Moon. I think overzealous fans, who don't understand books and movies as two different mediums, are to blame for the ways in which New Moon's script failed. M.R.'s writing needs to be unshackled from S.M.'s for the movie scripts to have a chance. Thoughts?
Di

Dear Foreword Thinker:
Hey, I'm open to that too. Like a reader yesterday pointed out, Dexter is very good and "unshackled." But whatever is happening now ain't working and needs to be fixed by Breaking Dawn.

Dear Ted:
Has Beyoncé ever been a subject of Blind Vice? I can't say I know every piece of entertainment news—but it seems to me that she manages herself and her image very well. You rarely hear about her in gossip columns. At first there were some thoughts of similarity between Rihanna and her, but there is a clear difference in how both of them manage their celebrity. Beyoncé just seems like she's all class. Thoughts?
Dolphin

Dear Good One:
You're pretty right on. Sure she has her moments, but for the kinda diva B could be, she isn't. And that's a no for her being a Blind Vice subject.

Dear Ted:
So you don't know if Genevieve is pregnant, but what about your new friend Danneel? Could a bun in the oven be why she's so sure she'll be getting married? And speaking of Genevieve, why are you being so nice to her and Jared? Is their marriage not going to be as fake as Jensen and Danneel's?
Mary

Dear Not So Fast:
Since when did silence (so far, at least) mean everything's golden?

_________

For more bitchin' head over to our Bitch-Back section.