One late-night host's misery is another's comedic fodder. Which is something David Letterman knows all too well.
This time, though, it was CBS' shining star who got to pile it on his late-night brothers, joining the Jay Leno-Conan O'Brien scheduling fray (incidentally, another situation he knows all too well) from the sidelines, but with no less biting a commentary.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen, once again, I did not get The Tonight Show," Letterman announced at the start of his show, going on to rip into what pal Craig Ferguson aptly characterized as "atrocious management by a once great American network," all while calling O'Brien "our old friend" and Leno…well, a chin-thrusting, head-bobbing impression could be seen as a gesture of endearment, right?
"It's very confusing over there, very crowded there at 11:30," Letterman said. "Once you get through the local news, things start to bunch up a little bit. I'm a little worried about Conan, I'm not worried about Jay—he'll land on his chin, he always does."
Still, the Late Show host wasted no time in letting his feelings be known on the matter, be it through jokes in his monologue, his Top 10 list ("Top 10 Signs There's Trouble at NBC"), or in a postmonologue segment in which he offered his own creative, free-of-charge advice to the rival network's programming giants. Let's just say, Carson Daly should turn away now.