In a blindside worthy of Russell Hantz himself, Jeff Probst revealed the cast of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains during the People's Choice Awards tonight.
That's where the blindsides ended—we'd already correctly guessed all 20 Castaways. That doesn't mean we didn't scream when we saw that Red Sox cap and caught soundbites from both the shoe thief and the sock burner. (These Castaways had best tread lightly.)
Read on for the scoop on fallen comrades and Sole Survivors from seasons past...
Heroes Tribe
Amanda Kimmel, China and Micronesia: Fans vs. Favorites
Heroism: The two-time runner-up [placing third in China and losing 5-3 to Parvati in Micronesia] burned many with her disloyalty—except Ozzy. As tribemate Cirie noted at one point, "I think we will be getting pregnancy announcements from Amanda about the little Ozzlets on the way."
Outwitticism: "We could be worst enemies, or we can become allies."
Candice Woodcock, Cook Islands
Heroism: Broke Billy's heart after mouthing "I love you" to him, but then kissed Adam goodbye after her tribal elimination? Flipped tribes? Hmmm, starting to sound a lot more like a candidate for the Villains tribe. Maybe she got a pity vote for spending so much time on Exile Island or being voted out by her island BF?
Outwitticism: "A kiss is nice," said Jeff Probst upon snuffing her torch. "Maybe if it were love he would have given you the Immunity necklace."
Cirie Fields, Exile Island and Micronesia: Fans vs. Favorites
Heroism: The nurse and married mother of three played a nice "social game" but betrayed many alliances while killing with kindness.
Outwitticism: With Natalie, before persuading Erik to sacrifice his Immunity Idol to an alliance of four remaining women: "If it looks like a rat, smells like a rat, give it cheese!"
Colby Donaldson, Australian Outback and All-Stars
Heroism: Or stupidity? With immunity in the final three, Colby stayed true to an (ultimately very expensive) alliance with Tina and voted out surly Keith, who virtually had Survivor Loser written on his forehead in Fallen Comrades facepaint.
Outwitticism: "I am a lot o' things, but I ain't no Hershey bar." [See: Jerri Mahoney, below.]
J.T. Thomas, Tocantins
Heroism: The Survivor sweetheart won the game unanimously by being a challenge superstar, having an adorable accent and not pissing anyone off (except maybe petulant Stephen).
Outwitticism: Since J.T.'s so quiet and humble, we'll leave it to Taj to explain why no one ever voted against J.T.: "[His name] just never came up because he was too sweet," she said. "You just can't find anything wrong with him."
James Clement, China and Micronesia: Fans vs. Favorites
Heroism: The gravedigger is a hot, generally nice guy, but he was voted out while holding two—two!—Immunity Idols.
Outwitticism: "I've lost my reign as dumbest Survivor ever!" (From the jury, after Erik sacrificed his Immunity Idol to Natalie and is summarily voted out by the four remaining women.)
Rupert Boneham, Pearl Islands and All-Stars
Heroism: Let's see, was it stealing people's shoes or insisting on digging out a shelter on the beach at low tide? No one can deny that the self-professed pirate has a winning personality, but wouldn't he equally qualify as a villain?
Outwitticism: "I will never give up, I will never surrender, I will never admit defeat."
Stephenie LaGrossa, Palau and Guatemala
Heroism: Instead of merging with their competitors, Stephenie's tribe continued to dwindle until she was the last one standing. She was promptly voted out after being absorbed into the victorious Koror tribe, but she made it to second place in her surprise return the following season.
Outwitticism: "I refuse to go early this time," she said in Guatemala. "I refuse!"
Jessica "Sugar" Kiper, Gabon
Heroism: The third-place finisher spent so much time in Exile that she dubbed her home away from home the Sugar Shack. She also found the Immunity Idol—and, more important, played it to her advantage.
Outwitticism: Actions speak louder than Sugar's words: She flipped off Corrine after the disgruntled jury member's shocking verbal attack: "You are an unemployed, uneducated leech on society, and the only thing I would vote to give you is a handful of antidepressants so that no one has to be subjected to your constant crying anymore. And maybe if you got some, then maybe it would sound a little more sincere when you are crying about your dead father." And people accuse Russell Hantz of being evil.
Tom Westman, Palau
Heroism: The NYC firefighter dominated entire game, winning five out of seven immunity challenges and catching a shark (!) for his tribe to feast on.
Outwitticism: Regarding his alliance with Ian, Tom confidently declared, "You know when the other guy is going to stand by you, and he should know that you'll stand by him. I'm taking a risk, but that's my move"—until Ian shocked Tom by revealing he would not reciprocate. Needless to say, Tom made a different move.
Villains Tribe
"Coach" Ben Wade, Tocantins
Villainy: Slaying dragons, duh.
Outwitticism: ''C'mon, guess what they call me in this game? The Dragon Slayer. Because I'm slaying all the dragons! I'm running this freakin' show, let me tell you that right now. I think I'm going to be in that final two unless something crazy comes up.''
"Boston Rob" Mariano, Marquesas and All-Stars
Villainy: Persuading his tribemates to protect Amber—and then marrying her after she won a million dollars.
Outwitticism: "Fear keeps people loyal. I'm the Robfather, it's true."
Courtney Yates, China
Villainy: The already thin waitress continued to lose what little body fat she had while failing spectacularly in challenges and stirring conflict at camp. We can't wait to see the backstabbing firecracker trading barbs with Tyson.
Outwitticism: The season 15 runner-up acknowledged that she is "the biggest bitch on the planet" for saying that her final-four competitor, the mullet-sporting (Shambo wasn't the first!) Denise Martin didn't deserve to win "just because she sucks at life."
Danielle DiLorenzo, Exile Island
Villainy: Aside from being hot and actually finishing in second place, Danielle is not the most memorable of the Castaways. She qualifies as a villain for betraying her alliance with Terry and taking Aras instead to the final Tribal Council.
Outwitticism: "There's a million dollars at stake and I'm not gonna take somebody because I made a promise to them," Danielle rationalized. "I'm gonna take someone who I think I have a better chance of beating."
Jerri Manthey, Australian Outback and All-Stars
Villainy: Nicknamed the "roaring bitch" for her abrasive personality (not to mention The Beef Jerky Incident), Jerri stormed out of the All-Stars reunion show in tears.
Outwitticism: "Right now, in my wildest fantasy, I can imagine pouring chocolate all over some hot dude's bod and having sex while licking it off at the same time." [See: Colby Donaldson, above.]
Parvati Shallow, Cook Islands and Micronesia: Fans vs. Favorites
Villainy: The giggly bikini babe flew under the radar before forming a powerful women's alliance, dubbing it the Black Widow Brigade, knocking off all her male competitors on the way to garnering the million-dollar prize.
Outwitticism: "Being flirtatious is a big part of my personality...it gets me what I want. I'll flirt with girls to get my way, I'll flirt with guys to get my way—it is an old standby, I'm not gonna lie."
Randy Bailey, Gabon
Villainy: Describing himself as "angry, blunt, mean and sarcastic—yet charming"(!)—the delightful curmudgeon says the only "person" he has ever loved was his dog, Johnson. Aw.
Outwitticism: "I have a new operation, and it's called, Operation: Let Everyone Else Crash and Burn."
Russell Hantz, Samoa
Villainy: Sabotage (emptying water and burning socks), deceit (lies, so many lies!), manipulation (secret alliances with just about everybody, blond or brunette) and cunning (finding immunity idols sans clues)—the master manipulator controlled the game from beginning until, er, almost the end.
Outwitticism: "I plan on making it as miserable as possible—making it hell for everybody to get what I want."
Sandra Diaz-Twine, Pearl Islands
Villainy: Hmmm...maybe winning for doing absolutely nothing the entire game? Regardless of her tribe, we're looking forward to the return of the feisty million-dollar winner.
Outwitticism: "I can get loud, too! WTF?!" she screamed at Jonny Fairplay.
Tyson Apostol, Tocantins
Villainy: The malevolent Mormon happily accepted Coach's designation as his "assistant coach" while stabbing him, and the rest of his tribemates, in the back. The best soundbites ever.
Outwitticism: "I love seeing people cry when you crush all their hopes and dreams...Lying to everybody...actually brings me pleasure."
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Is the cast complete? Who are the notable no-shows? Relive Survivor's greatest moments of the past decade here.