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Sport Report - NYC Marathon & Olympic Speedskating

Tip of the hat to Stephen Colbert.

Despite the tragic number of Canadians he'll be forced to deal with, the funnyman announced Monday that his show will become the primary sponsor of the U.S. speedskating team at the 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver.

The Colbert Report is stepping up in light of the recent stepping down of DSB Bank NV, which is normally the team's largest source of cash flow but was forced to declare bankruptcy last month.

"I shaved my entire body so I was more aerodynamic for my report on speed skating," Colbert wrote on Twitter this evening.

The team's uniforms will be emblazoned with "Colbert Nation," and the Fauxpublican talk-show host is asking his loyal fans—the very ones who helped him get a treadmill on the International Space Station named after him—to contribute funds via and

"My character sees the Olympics as war, but nobody gets hurt," Colbert told the AP before tonight's episode. "It's a way to peacefully figure out who has got the top country...[The process] still tragically involves a lot of Canadians. It's kind of unseemly how many Canadians I'm going to have to be dealing with."


What's better than constant LOLing? A frightfest, you say? Like the one in our Famous Festive Fiends gallery?

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