When will Jon Gosselin be old news? I'm so tired of him.
—Vp, via Twitter
Now, now. No need to step on Jon Gosselin, alone like he is. He has only 14 or 15 twentysomething girls hanging on him at any given moment, and most of them can't possibly understand the exhaustion that comes with issuing all those salvos against his soon-to-be ex.
Assuming it's really what you want, there are about six things Gosselin could do to get us gossips to stop writing about him: