by Ted Casablanca | Tue., Oct. 6, 2009 12:48 PM
I was looking at the Brangelina clan and I can't help but notice how they dress Shiloh. They dress her up as if she was a boy and I can't fathom how two parents who look dashing on and off the red carpet dress their daughter. Maybe it's their way of seeming "normal," but when pictured Angelina Jolie looks flawless but then I look down and I see her children and it's a whole different story.
So a female toddler can't be dressed in pants without it being child abuse? If anything, Shiloh's tomboy outfits show how good Brad and Angelina are as parents, letting her wear what she likes instead of forcing her to wear über-girly, uncomfy clothes. Is Suri Cruise more your type of fashionista for celeb child style? Making a 3-year-old walk around in high heels for the cameras is more damaging, for sure.
You brought up something and it got me thinking. I never heard the full dirt on Angelina Jolie's infamous public display of inappropriate actual make-out session, an incestuous affair, or was this simply a strung-out behavior with her brother, James Haven? Was there a stunt?
Dear Brothers & Sisters:
She kissed her brother full on the lips when she won the Oscar, and up on stage, said, "I am so in love with my brother right now." Haven's said similar stuff in interviews, like that he thinks his sister is "the perfect woman." No stunt, just weird close-knit family behavior most people feel icky about since it comes off just an eensy bit too close for comfort. Wonder how jealous James is of Brad nowadays?
Surely you haven't flown all the way up to Vancouver just to bring us some Robsten news, right? Come on, Ted, we seriously need some scoop about that other hot pairing living and working in Van you recently named Jackles. So what's the word on the streets of Vancouver about those two boys? I'm sure just like Robsten they have to dine out somewhere sometimes or do other everyday stuff. So anything you heard while you were up in beautiful Van?
Dear Supernatural Dudes:
Sorry, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki aren't as coveted a pair as Robsten to restaurant owners up in V-town. Maybe because they aren't on every damn gossip rag cover in the nation? I can think of a few ways they could change their status from cult fave to front page very quickly...
Just wanted to thank you for what seems to be more of an effort to report on other celebs rather than the heavy focus you had on the Twilight cast. While I don't hate the Twi's, I am more interested in a range of celeb gossip. So thanks. And thanks for supporting shelters and animals.
Dear Fair and Equal Gossip:
We try! If more celebs were as salivating as Robsten, we'd gladly give 'em some love in the blolumn.
I'm sorry but I honestly find it very hard to believe that Simon Pegg and Kirsten Dunst are anything more than costars and possibly friends. How exactly did you come up with that? Simon Pegg seems like a dedicated family man. Perhaps I'm biased because I'm British. In La-La Land just because they have something in common such as a distressing thing like a theft, suddenly they're having an affair? You are my favorite gossip columnist but I honestly think you have it a bit wrong on this!
We didn't come up with our story outta thin air—we had a reliable sources give us the dish on what they saw themselves at the SNL afterparty. Last I checked, questioning two costars' keeping very close together isn't explicitly stating as fact they're having an affair—though it wouldn't be the first time in H'wood, not by a mile.
In all honesty, finding out that David Letterman has had relationships with staff members doesn't change my opinion of him. He has always seemed like a decent, intelligent, but shy "nice guy." And, over the years, I have learned this to be true from people who know him (but maybe you think otherwise). However, with all of the articles being written about his recent, foiled extortion plot, I have yet to come across anything that uses the "A" word—as in, affair. Letterman has been with his wife for over 20 years and, although we don't know the dynamics of their relationship, "sexual relationships with employees" suggests he did in fact cheat on her. Are journalists ignoring this fact because it is David Letterman and not, say, David Duchovny? Or is there more to the story than meets the eye (meaning is he the past subject of a B.V.)?
Dear Late Night:
Letterman's not a B.V. of mine, but all the nasty whisperings of affairs and cheating are subdued because a) you're right, this David isn't a sex symbol and b) he's got no problem admitting it on national television, which means any probs with the li'l wifey at one point are pretty null and void by now. It's still reprehensible treatment of women, as far as I'm concerned.
Dear Sad Stuff:
How could it be? Even if you've got the perf marriage in the world, losing a child isn't going to make any relationship easier.
Dear Odd Pair:
Jason's just having fun, and good for him. We like seeing the sorta schlubby dude make the rounds around town. Wish less-than-perfect-looking ladies were given the same dating opportunities.
Kristen Stewart is just like Megan Fox (except not in the looks or body). They both don't understand and appreciate the opportunities that these roles have given their careers. Like playing Bella is a big deal, but yet Kristen can't stop complaining. I can't believe that girls look up to these two. What the hell is going on in Hollywood these days? But at least I can say this, Kristen grew up knowing what Hollywood fame would be like, Megan didn't.
Megan's already learning her lesson—now that Jennifer's Body is a huge bomb, that's when she signs onto Transformers 3. Guess she realized she can't break out on her own as a box office draw just yet. Howev, K.Stew's nowhere near as ungrateful to her franchise; wonder if her costars have anything to do with it?
I understand that Kristen Stewart has always been a very serious character and uptight, but Robert Pattinson wasn't ever like that before. He always joked around in his interviews, and he was a positive guy. Now he seems so serious and uptight just like Kristen. I find that shocking. Has Kristen changed him that much? Will he every be the nice, cool, carefree guy like he used to be?
Dear Grumpy Guy:
Don't blame Kristen, blame the soul-destroying effects of H'wood for any mood changes in R.Pattz.
Thank you for being the best human you can be for speaking up that there's just no excuse for violence. Having said that, I just can't let a day pass by without checking A.T. I heart Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Question for you, love, is Jake Gyllenhaal the infamous Nevis Devine?
Dear No on Nevis:
Jake's got his own B.V.-worthy secrets to worry about.
Half of those screaming fans are just obsessed fans of Robert Pattinson, and probably would care less if Kristen Stewart was dead. She's just doing her job, and for her own protection she hides in her hotel every single night. Honestly no one gave a s—t about who she was before "Robsten" started. Is that what happens when you're in a relationship with the hottest man alive?
Dear Fan Fight:
Though you're sorta right—who gives a crap about Kevin Federline after he got divorced from Britney?—K.Stew's earned her own legion of fans from being in Twilight, regardless of her relationship with Rob. Don't you dare doubt Ms. Stewart's fandom!
Dear Office Blunder:
No, no, no! John's bedroom ways are saved exclusively for fiancée Emily Blunt. Wrong network.
When people wonder why so many Hollywood men are gay, I laugh. How many guys in the high school drama club were straight? Show choir? Exactly.
Dear Not Just Drama:
Guess what—the football team had a load of gays on it, too! So there!
Whatever happened to the victim's mother in the Roman Polanski matter? I remember vaguely that she had dropped her 13-year-old daughter off at Jack Nicholson's home. Who in their right mind would do that (and I am speaking of 30 years ago when he had less than a stellar reputation). She would be arrested for child endangerment today.
—A concerned parent
Dear Mother May I:
Should the mother have left her alone with Roman? Hell no. Just like all those mothers who knowingly let their children have sleepovers at Michael Jackson's place, regardless of his reputation. Does that excuse one bit what happened to those kids? Not at all. The moms have to live with their own parenting mistakes the rest of their lives.
I am in love with your column and I really respect your love for animals; it's one of my passions as well. I'm a fairly new reader and I must admit I go to places like Perez Hilton and People for some dirt too, but I know it's not true until I see it in A.T.! I was just wondering what you thought of people like Perez who seem to just say things he thinks might be true? Keep on keepin' on!
Dear Dirt Disher:
Mostly he's just doing his job—spreading gossip, whether factual or not. And he's quite the showman, obviously. My only problem with Perez is when he's lifted our stories, but usually he seems pretty quick to amend once we bitch enough.
Holy crap! Did you see Perez Hilton actually linked your source to the 30 Rock story? I'm bowled over; I didn't know he knew how to give credit! Love you!
Dear As I Was Saying:
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