Enough about the other woman—or women, as it turns out. David Letterman now needs to turn his attention to the woman.
The Late Show host, who launched a thousand editorials last week about sex in the workplace, comic timing and big, fat egos when he revealed that past indiscretions had come back to haunt him in the form of an extortion plot, has finally offered up a public apology to his partner of 23 years, wife Regina Lasko.
During tonight's taping, Letterman admits that she has been "horribly hurt" by his actions, and that he has his work cut out for for him to patch things up at home.
Of course, first he joked that he got into his car this morning and "the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me."
"There's a possibility that I'll be the first talk show host impeached," he continued. "It's fall here in New York City, and I spent the whole weekend raking my hate mail. It's cold, too—chilly outside, chilly inside my house."
Letterman then mock-started making cracks about Bill Clinton, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and Eliot Spitzer (apparently they all have something in common), stopping himself every time.
"This is only phase one of the scandal," he reminded the audience. "Phase two, next week I go on Oprah and sob."