Bitch-Back! The Perverts of Hollywood

Readers think Roman Polanski and Jon Gosselin need to figure it out

By Ted Casablanca Oct 05, 2009 1:16 PMTags
Roman Polanski, Jon GosselinTony Barson/Getty Images; Gaz Shirley;

Dear Ted:
I'm upset that stars I respected, like Natalie Portman and Tilda Swinton, are defending Roman Polanski. Do they actually think vaginally and anally raping a 13-year-old is no big thing, or are they cynically trying to be on his good side if he directs again? So sorry to hear about your heartache!

Dear Good Question:
Honestly, it hurts my brain too much to try to understand some people's way of thinking. Like, get a clue, people—imagine just how that violation might feel before you sign on to condone it.

Dear Ted:
What's your take on all this Jon Gosselin nonsense? Two questions. Who is going to support this family if the show is taken away? Do you think it's in the best interest of the children for the show to end?

Dear Labor Laws:
Absolutely I think the show should end. With Jon out parading his penis and its new fling every five minutes, these kids already are more likely to catch Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan syndrome. Kate may be a shrew, but she's a hardworking one at that. She'll bring home the bitchy bacon. 

Dear Ted:
I just read the excerpts from the magazine article Kristen Stewart did with Interview magazine. Her level of maturity and her ability to articulate blew me away. Some consider K.S. awkward, socially inept and even "bitchy" (to use a word I hate), but I believe she was very sincere in her responses, unlike other actors who BS their way through interviews. What's your deep down, truly honest opinion of K.S.? Your insight carries a great deal of weight with your fans, especially since you have studied and interviewed her yourself. Thanks

Dear Go to the Archives:
I agree with you completely. When Team Awful interviewed her back during the Adventureland junket we said it then—we love K.Stew. She's a different type of a good way. But she translates to print differently than it sounds when she's speaking to you in person. Sometimes it comes across as too harsh when there are just a bunch of words on a page when you can't see her emotion behind it.

Dear Ted:
Teddy poo, darling. You have just got to give us the dish on that scrumptious Cheyenne Jackson. Not being from either coast, I miss a lot of the Broadway news. I see he's got a faithful partner of some-odd years, but what else do you know, dooo tell!

Dear Musically Curious:
The pretty to look at are usually the most dangerous. He's not too Hollywood-ized yet, though, so he could still have some sweet innocence left in him. For 90 seconds. Just like Xavier Samuels used to have.

Dear Ted:
I would like to have coffee and chat with you, it'll be my make me nearly piss my pants from laughing every day and you seem like so much fun. What do you say?

Dear Blind Date:
Are you hot?

Dear Ted:
I have a question in regard to all of the television shows and movies that are being remade lately. Is this something that's been going on for a very long time? Have the writers run out of new ideas or are they just cashing in on old successes? It's getting old, haha!

Dear Writer's Block:
TV shows seem to be getting more creative, I think. Anyone catch FlashForward yet? Obsessed. Why can't these writers do more crazy films?

Dear Ted:
What is the scoop with Justin T. and Rihanna? Did he really dump Jess?

Dear Late to the Party:
You can get caught up on the latest dirt here. But it pains—absolutely pains—me to say that I've heard no reliable dirt that Rihanna and J.T. are together.

Dear Ted:
Will Dashed Dingle-Dream ever get his own BV? Or is his whole relationship with Judas Jack-Off gone so boringly one-track that there's no reason for you to write BV about him?

Dear Don't Forget the Little People:
You don't see Grey Goose getting his own star on the Blind Vice walk of infamy, do you? 

Dear Ted:
Ted, I never see the Jolie-Pitt kids smile. With all the thousands of pictures out there, there should be one smile! Is there something behind the sad faces or are they just not photogenic? Second question, is Vince Vaughn's engagement for real? Or will it end soon?
dede in dallas

Dear One Degree of Aniston:
Some of the kids look happy...when they are out with Poppa Pitt. As for your second question—surely you've been reading this blolum for long enough to know the answer to that.

Dear Ted:
My question is in regards to the cast of Glee. I am really digging this show and was wondering if you had heard any good gossip regarding any of the major players? Are they as squeaky clean as they seem?
Total Gleek

Dear Newbies:
Things are never as they appear, hon-cakes. Never.

Dear Ted:
I've discovered you during my coffee breaks and now addicted and I love it! I check daily for your insight. I'm sorry for your loss. Keep strong, hon! OK, my question is this: with the whole Rob Patterson craze going on is it because he is with Kristen or because of the vamp sex appeal? I ask cause it's not his acting that got people wild or else we would have seen this craze in his appearance in Harry Potter films, or am I mistaken (since he was late teens there)?

Dear Out of It:
I'm not editing the spelling of your letter because you made me LOL with "Patterson." Get security locks, darling, 'cause some Twi fans will come after you pronto! As for your question...the Kristen stuff became public after Rob Pattinson was über-popular. I think the craze initially was all about Edward, not Rob, but his sexiness only made it that much more fiery and popular.

Dear Ted:
Speaking of that delicious Ian Somerhalder I recently saw still shots of him from the HBO series "Tell me You Love Me".....SMOKING HOTT PIX!

Dear Give Me Vampires:
The bad boys are always smoking hot, hon.

Dear Ted:
Why are people questioning Rob Pattinson's ability to do comedy? While living in England, I saw Rob in Bad Mother's Handbook and he was brilliant! He was so charming and his timing was flawless. Great movie for fans to check out if they get the opportunity. This movie is well worth it regardless of being a Rob fan or not! The men in Hollywood seem so bland and predictable these days; Rob Pattinson is a breath of fresh, hot air! Thanks for a great column in a world gone mad!

Dear No One's Laughing:
I think so many people view Rob as this shy guy who hates attention and would rather sit secluded in his hotel room. Thing is, he chooses this lifestyle because he doesn't exactly have an alternative right now. R.Pattz has a wild funny side, trust!