"We're like turtles behind a radiator. There is an enormous convex lens that is just focusing the sun's energy to try to destroy people. We're like ants under a 12-year-old's magnifying glass."
—Jon Stewart, on the stifling heat on the red carpet
"I was totally trounced by Andy Richter. It really is about the buzzer."
—Dana Delany from Desperate Housewives, sharing her wisdom after surviving an episode of Celebrity Jeopardy
"Someone would have to be abducted for us to have a chance. And I just want to know who is going to pull a Kanye."
—Samantha Who? actress Christina Applegate, sharing her thoughts on tonight's Emmys
"I like my big nose. How about that? Take that, nose jobs! My pinky toes are foul, foul. They look like cashews."
—Julia Louis-Dreyfus, when asked about her favorite and least favorite body parts