Blind Vice

Dear Awful Truth:
The Blind Vice picture always reminds me of Chace Crawford and Taylor Momsen. Is there anything going on between them? Oh, and if Summit is really the diabolical studio that you make it out to be, isn't it possible that the suits really don't care about Robsten but are pretending to so their antics will end up in the media and in turn promote the movie even more? That's a pretty genius marketing campaign.

Dear Nice Vices:
You are the diabolical one! That's some evil genius plot worthy of Lex Luther and the Joker right there, which means it's total fiction, unfortunately. Same as anything going on between that particular Gossip gal and guy, though now that you've called out the similarities with our B.V. pic, we sorta wish there were! (When Tay's of legal age, 'course.)

Dear Awful Truth:
Everyone has been expressing strong disappointment with this new Bella wig they are using on Kristen Stewart for Eclipse. I have heard a lot of people say they are making their complaints known. Do you think Summit will change things up or decide to work with a new wig...maybe extensions? Since when has Summit ever listened, right? Also, some reports claim Robsten will truly go official, confirmation and all, after New Moon comes out. Is there any truth to this?
—Time will tell

Dear Hair Plugs:
We get all the fuss over Robsten, what with the whole star-crossed love affair thing and dastardly forces driving them apart, and other romance novel drama. But major drama over a damn wig? It will look fine on camera. Calm down. The franchise isn't in jeopardy because of a haircut. And I wouldn't bet on New Moon being a good countdown to a Robsten confirmation, sorry. Try after Breaking Dawn!

Dear Awful Truth:
Is there any truth to the rumor that Nicole Kidman has "abandoned" her adopted kids. Or is it more along the lines of Tom Cruise keeping her away from them?

Dear Joint Custody:
Nicole would never abandon her kids—but that doesn't mean she's exactly the most hands-on parent to two teenagers. She treats them like adults who can make their own decisions, and if you had a choice, would you rather move to Nashville with your mom, who's barely there to begin with, or have a solid lifestyle in L.A. with your über-powerful dad who gets you roles in movies? Exactly.

Dear Awful Truth:
I wanted to let you know that you guys are doing a good job while Ted is gone. Even though we miss him, you're doing great!

Dear Aw, Shucks:
Thanks, kitten! Our tails are wagging.

Dear Awful Truth:
We want to know more about Team Awful. How do you wind up in that particular line of work? Oh, and any good dirt on Ted? Um, if you answer that last one, you might want to skip the byline.

Dear Gossip Lovah:
Taryn and Marc were brought forth from internland, while I was actually born in the lobby of the E! office and raised by a wild pack of Kardashians. And Ted's known to dish his own dirt on himself in the blolumn; he doesn't need me to help out!

Dear Awful Truth:
Please tell me Maxwell Meat-Mingle is not Nick Lachey. I love him. He sings beautifully.

Dear Oh Hell No:
As The Soup might say, "Stay out of it, Nick Lachey."

Dear Awful Truth:
What's the deal with David Boreanaz? I thought he was supersexy as Angel, and he's smokin' hot as Booth, but no one seems to care about him. Am I the only one who thinks that at nearly 40, he still looks great? What is Team Awful's opinion of him?

Dear Angel Eyes:
No doubt David's a looker, but to be honest, I'm bored by him. Good looks and a hot bod are one thing, but buzz and personality are what keep people interested. Why do you think Megan Fox won't shut the ef up?

Dear Awful Truth:
Thanks for keepin' it real. These people are total liars and should be held accountable for things like, hmmm, brutal violence.

Dear Pants on Fire:
I feel bad for the next celeb who apologizes for some bad behavior on Larry King Live. Nobody's gonna believe 'em! They can blame Pare and C.B. for crying wolf.

Dear Awful Truth:
Why all the hate for Vanessa Hudgens? She took naked photos—she didn't sleep with a director or producer for a role. She hasn't broken up a family by cheating. She simply took naked photos of her nearly perfect self. I don't get why she's such a punching bag?

Dear Poor Baby V:
It's not hate. It's playful teasing. If she did break up a marriage or do something half skeezy/half horrible, people's opinion of her would be a lot more vicious, I assure you. I also assure you she's far from perfect!

Dear Awful Truth:
Is M3 Josh Hartnett?

Dear Hard for Hartnett:
He certainly has enough time on his hands to be a Blind Vice, but Maxy Meat-Mingle ain't him. Think even more has-been—I know it's hard, considering Josh has been AWOL for a while, but try!

Dear Awful Truth:
If it's the E! legal department that keeps you from revealing Blind Vice subjects, doesn't that mean people are wasting their time guessing? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of the Blind Vice to begin with? I mean, if someone does guess right, how can we be sure it will be posted in say, the Bitch-Back section of your site? Just curious.

Dear Bitching Back:
Ever heard of process of elimination? And sometimes we do throw ya an answer, doll! Just gonna have to keep checking.

Dear Awful Truth:
Why are you guys so obsessed with dragging homosexuals out of the closet by their hangers?

Dear Wrong Blogger:
Notice how we keep the closeted in our anonymous Blind Vice section, as opposed to explicitly outing them in the blolumn? We do have a modicum of respect, sheesh. The only dudes we really wish would come clean and be themselves (i.e., gay) are the ones who prance around H'wood like they're straight as a yardstick. Being discreet is one thing, but blatantly lying is another.

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