Ellen Goltzer is at peace with her journey to love.
Fans saw the Golden Bachelor contestant tell Gerry Turner she was falling in love with him a week before she was sent home on the Oct. 26 episode. So, does Ellen have any regrets about divulging her feelings to the Bachelor star?
"Well, I've always known that I wear my heart on my sleeve," the 71-year-old exclusively told E! News. "And I like to verbalize my feelings. It was hard to hold it in."
Reflecting on telling Gerry where she stood early on in the season, Ellen added, "I feel that if you don't give it a chance and tell someone exactly how you're feeling, then you lose your opportunity. So, it was my chance to convey those feelings to him. And I have no regrets about that at all."
But despite falling in love, Ellen was sent home alongside fellow contestants Sandra Mason and Susan Noles. Going into the final rose ceremony, Ellen felt something in her gut telling her she may not be safe.
"Probably the scariest feeling I had was that I wasn't that sure," she confessed. "The other group dates, the other rose ceremonies, I felt a sense of connection… I could actually feel how he was feeling and I felt secure. This time, I did not. And it was just being intuitive, I guess. But I just didn't really feel that we had that same bond."
Noting that Gerry "may have been holding back," Ellen voiced, "I wasn't sure. I was insecure. So, for that reason, I was really nervous... But I'm not sorry that I opened up. No, not at all. I will continue to do that."
As for what was going through the Pickleball captain's mind when her name wasn't called? As she put it, "I felt like, 'This didn't just end. This didn't just happen.' Terrible disappointment, sad. I wanted to keep going and see where it went. I didn't feel like I had enough time. I did have a lot of time—a lot of girls did not—but I just wanted it to keep going to see where it would go. And I was upset."
Reiterating that she was falling in love, Ellen said she had "deep feelings" for Gerry and she felt that leaving the show was "devastating."
But one thing is for sure: Ellen's best friend Roberta Zaktzer, who died in September from cancer, would have been very proud of her for being open to another shot at love.
"I think that's one of the reasons why she sort of made me go or encouraged me to go," Ellen recalled. "She knows my personality better than anybody. And I think she knew that it was something I needed. Something that I was overlooking. I think she would be so super proud of me that I let loose and really showed people who I was and my feelings inside, because sometimes I don't do that."
She added, "I think she was cheering big time."
For a complete look at all the women who are vying for Gerry's love on The Golden Bachelor, keep reading.