Elliot Page is giving insight on his relationship history.
In addition to disclosing romances with co-stars and friends like Kate Mara and Olivia Thirlby in his new memoir Pageboy, the Umbrella Academy star opened up about a two-year private relationship he had with an unnamed partner in his mid-20s.
"We met making a film together," Page, who came out as lesbian in 2014 before coming out as transgender in 2020, wrote. "We would hold hands under a blanket in the back of the transpo van. Reaching instinctually. It wasn't discussed. It didn't need to be."
However, despite their burgeoning romance, she wasn't ready to go public.
"My partner was more closeted than me for a change," the Juno star wrote. "We were together for almost two years, and even some of my closest friends were not aware I was in a relationship. Her parents did not know."
"I was the friend that came for Christmas," he continued. "Only her sister and two of her friends knew. We never touched outside, we barely went to dinner. She was in my phone under the name ‘Ryan.'"
And they also went out of their way to avoid being seen by paparazzi or the public—including not leaving the hotel when visiting one another on location.
"We ordered room service," he recalled of a trip to see his partner in Europe, "and when it was delivered, I literally hid in a closet. Light shone through under the door. I listened to the table roll in, the metal covers clang, and her warm voice expressing gratitude. How frighteningly casual some memories can be."
Page added that, "When I think back, I questioned her sexuality, too, in a way that was harsh and unfair, prying for an answer she was not ready to give. I was angry at her, but I had all the information, I wanted to stay."
Despite the measures they took to keep their relationship quiet, Page noted that his partner wanted to take things even further.
"'Maybe we should both get boyfriends?' she suggested one evening as we lay in bed, to throw people off, as if that would mitigate the shame and vigilance," the Inception star continued. "We were in an open relationship, so technically it was not an unreasonable question."
He added that he told her, "'I can't do that, but if you want to you should.' The word 'should' came out sharp, a pulled pin, it was just a matter of time now."
Despite fond memories, he recalls realizing they were at different places in their journeys.
"Discreet but adventurous sex," he wrote. "On rocks just below the Pacific Coast Highway, hidden in boulders in Joshua Tree National Park, on an airplane. An unconscious yearning to be caught, to have no choice. Forced through the door. I didn't want to come out. I wanted to be with her, we loved each other, cared deeply and had a meaningful time together."
And ultimately, Page noted that their relationship wasn't built to last.
"It was not a sustainable relationship, just like when I had kept people hidden," the actor said. "The lying, the anxiety, the disgust. People didn't ‘think she was queer,' but they definitely assumed I was, and I don't think she could handle the shame. Ultimately, she had to do what was best for her, and unfortunately it resulted in my heart being shattered."