Megan Fox is incredibly predictable.
When she appears on a red carpet, you can bet on three things: (1) she's going to look absurdly hot, (2) she's not gonna bring her on-again, off-again beau Brian Austin Green, and (3) she's going to say something completely unpredictable.
She's had some real humdingers—about being a tranny, farting Chinese-food farts, getting it on with chicks and even humdingers—over the past few years. So we're counting down our Top 9 faves, with No. 10 open for you to decide.
We'll start with the Transformers starlet's most obvious "say what?!" moment…
1. Golden Globes, January 2009: "I am pretty sure I'm a doppelgänger for Alan Alda. I'm a tranny. I'm a man."
2. FHM, June 2007: "I forget to flush the toilet. Friends will tell me, 'Megan, you totally pinched a loaf in my toilet and didn't flush.' "
3. GQ, September 2008: "Olivia Wilde is so sexy, she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands."
4. New York Post, November 2008: "I'm obsessed with [Zac Efron]. What you don't know is that Zac and I are the same person. It's like Janet and Michael [Jackson]. We are the same person."
5. Esquire, May 2009: "Let me tell you what it's really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron's dad. It's about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there's music involved."
6. GQ, October 2008: "If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it's like—you can smell the warmth in the fart."
7. Comic-Con, July 2009: "I would eat Rob Pattinson so that I could steal some of that pretty. I wanna be pretty like he's pretty. I want that James Dean, that sexy-ass hair."
8. Esquire, May 2009: "I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man."
9. GQ, June 2009: "When you think about it [actors are] kind of prostitutes. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone...It's really kind of gross."
10. You tell us! We can't even come close to making a decision on this one. Should it be her slamming Scarlett Johansson, describing men as "weak like puppies," her 15-year-old's libido or her ironically claiming she doesn't want to be on the cover of every magazine? You make the call!
Aug. 4 is totally National Megan Fox Awareness Day.