Jen Shah is speaking out from behind bars.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star, who began her six-and-a-half year prison sentence last month, recounted her final moments as a free woman before surrendering herself to a federal prison in Bryan, Texas, in a lengthy March 9 statement on Instagram.
Remembering how she suffered an "anxiety attack" en route to the detention center, Jen—who was then traveling with her husband Sharrieff Shah and their 19-year-old son Omar—said she had to pull the car over so she could FaceTime her "oldest baby" Sharrieff Jr., 28, one last time.
"We finally connected, I saw his face, and I cried so hard until he reassured me that it would be okay," she wrote. "My worst fear and the unimaginable was about to happen."
And upon her arrival at the prison, Jen said that the waiting officers allowed her to have one last moment with her family. "Ileaned [sic] over to the seat next to my and hugged Omar as tight as I could," the 49-year-old recalled, "and cried as I buried my head in his chest and held him as tight as Icould [sic] not wanting to face reality that this would be the last time I hugged him for a while."
And when it came time to say goodbye to her husband of 28 years, Jen recalled hugging him so tightly "as if holding him harder would somehow erase this horrible nightmare."
"I wanted to remember this embrace, his smell, his touch," she continued. "I held his face in both of my hands. As looked into his eyes, tears streaming down my face, I told him he is the love my life and I love him more than anything."
The moment was a bittersweet one. As Jenn explained, "Having seconds to tell your husband how much you love him and hoping he truly understands the depths of your love while officers stand there silently urging you to move quickly was the most horrible experience."
She added, "It's as if you know your world is ending and you have 30 seconds to tell the people you love how much you love them and hope they feel your love and understand its magnitude."
As Jen walked away from Sharrieff and Omar, she remembered seeing "the hurt, pain and sadness" in her son's eyes. "I say a prayer as I'm walking asking for strength," she wrote. "I turn to get one last glance at my husband and son. I wave at them for the last time before Ienter [sic] the doors. My entire body is numb, and I feel like my life is ending, and I am truly scared."
So, how has Jen settled into her new life? "I feel physically sick. I feel like I don't belong here," she added. "I thought I could do this but I've decided I can't. I want to go home right now, but I know that is impossible."
The reality star surrendered herself to federal custody on Feb. 17, the Federal Bureau of Prisons previously confirmed to E! News. Upon her release after her prison sentence, Jen will be on supervised release for five years.
In July 2022, Jen pleaded guilty to wire fraud and money laundering charges in connection with a nationwide telemarketing scheme. She was sentenced to 78 months in prison and five years of supervised release in January 2023.
"Jen Shah's resolve to make her victims whole and to turn her life around is unyielding," her attorney, Priya Chaudhry, previously told E! News in a statement. "She is committed to serving her sentence with courage and purpose, fueled by her desire to make amends for the hurt she has caused and to help others in her new community."
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