Sarah Herron is honoring her son's life.
One month after the Bachelor alum shared she and fiancé Dylan Brown's baby boy, Oliver Brown, died after she gave birth at 24 weeks pregnant, she posted a heartbreaking tribute on social media reflecting on their loss. And alongside her moving message, she shared a series of photos, one of which included a close up shot of her cradling her newborn son.
"This is him, this is his sweet little face," Herron wrote in a Feb. 28 Instagram post. "Perfect and covered in bright blonde peach fuzz. All 2lbs of him."
The 36-year-old went on to note that she wasn't sure "how to summarize the last month," or how she and Brown "managed to survive" amid their grief.
"But somehow, we're here," she continued, "What I hate, is that as more time separates us from the night we met Oliver, sometimes I can't distinguish if the last month has been a nightmare or if my pregnancy was all a dream."
"And as each new day brings increments of space and healing… I am gutted that we are moving back in a direction of life that physically looks like the one we lived before Oliver," she added. "My body is healing, yet I remain in maternity jeans—a paradox of relief and grief at the same time."
Herron explained that though time may move on, she is not ready to move forward, adding that she wants to "Winter with Oliver forever."
"What I love is that joy ~has~ come back sooner than I gave it credit for," she added. "I didn't believe people when they told me it would. And we've been laughing—a lot actually. We've started cooking again, and going for walks."
As the advertising executive noted, she has managed to focus "exclusively on healing" but has understandably limited contact with other people.
"The okay days are starting to outnumber intolerable days," she wrote. "And good days are even starting to find their way in."
Through it all, Herron explained she finds comfort in keeping Oliver close.
"Oliver is home on my nightstand in a white gift bag until his urn arrives," she explained. "I have to find humor in even this, because honestly it is kind of funny. I feel his spirit all around us, people all around the WORLD feel his spirit. And though his body isn't here, I know this isn't the end of Oliver Brown."
Herron's fiancé, Dylan, also shared a gut-wrenching message in honor of his baby boy two days prior.
"He came into this life feeling Love, protection and warmth," the photographer wrote in part on Feb. 26 alongside a black-and-white photo of their family. "He would pass knowing only those things, the best of life's offerings: Love. I feel comfort, knowing that. Knowing that he was the luckiest child alive, knowing that all he ever knew was Love."