Anna Kendrick is reflecting on a turning point in her personal life.
The Alice, Darling actress recently opened up about a past relationship with an unnamed ex, sharing that she made plans to start a family one day before their split.
"I was with someone—and this was somebody I lived with, for all intents and purposes my husband," she said during the Jan. 9 episode of the Armchair Expert podcast. "We had embryos together, this was my person. And then about six years in, about somewhere around there, I remember telling my brother, when things had first kind of gone down, 'I'm living with a stranger. Like, I don't know what's happening.'"
The Pitch Perfect star went on to note that the sudden shift in their dynamic—which came amid him having feelings for another person—was "terrifying."
"It wasn't just the, 'Oh, I'm losing a relationship,'" she said. "It was that I believed that if we broke up or, you know, if he left basically, it was a confirmation that it's because I'm impossible, I'm lucky that he's even tolerating my bulls--t."
As Anna explained, she viewed the change in their relationship as a reflection of herself at the time.
"There was an inherent thing of me being so rejectable that this person who loved me very deeply for six years, it suddenly occurred to him, how awful I was or something," she continued. "The shame, that lingers much longer."
In an effort to save their connection, Anna shared she "truly dismantled" her life.
"And at first, that was as a reaction to the accusation that I was crazy, and I was the one causing the problem," she explained. "So, I had a conversation with CAA, my agency and said I need to take time off, I have a mental health problem."
The actress—who was previously linked to filmmaker Edgar Wright, cinematographer Ben Richardson, as well as actor Bill Hader—continued, "I started seeing two therapists a week and I started trying to learn to meditate and I got into Al-Anon and all of these things ended up being very wonderful things for me in the long run, but initially went into them thinking, 'Tell me how to stop being crazy. Tell me how to stop feeling anything.'"
In September 2022, Anna opened up about her experience with emotional abuse in her past relationship, sharing that she was able to connect to her character in the movie Alice, Darling because of it.
"I was in a situation where, at the end, I had the unique experience of finding out that everything I thought was going on was in fact going on," she told People. "So I had this kind of springboard for feeling and recovery that a lot of people don't get."
She continued, "So even with this concrete jumping off point for me, to walk out of that relationship knowing that I wasn't crazy," she added, "it's incredible the way that recovery has been so challenging."