Nick Cannon is opening up about coping with an unimaginable loss.
In December 2021, the Nick Cannon Show host shared that he and Alyssa Scott's 5-month-old son, Zen, died after a battle with brain cancer. Now, Cannon is reflecting on their son's legacy exactly one year after his tragic passing.
"Physically, I'm definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I'm broken," he wrote alongside photos of himself cradling Zen on Instagram Dec. 5. "Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn't sleep at all. I can't believe it's been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary."
"Losing a child has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experiences that I will never get over," he explained. "A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily. I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question, but anyone who knows me knows my heart."
He added, "I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could've felt more of that love while he was here on Earth."
As the TV host—who recently shared that he and Alyssa are expecting another baby together—noted, though he's "in the midst of one of the most challenging seasons" of his life, he has relied on advice that "peace that surpasses all."
"But let me tell you, it's tough," Cannon continued. Referring to his recent hospitalization for pneumonia, he added, "I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don't waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now…Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you."