Jeremy Piven, Katherine Heigl

ABC/Adam Larkey, Paul Fenton/Fenton Photos/KPA/ZUMA Press

We're totally disappointed our naughtier, TV version of Twilight, True Blood, didn't get one damn friggin' single Emmy nom, not even any of the delicious actors involved. Doesn't the Academy drool over fangs and abs like we do?

Apparently not.

But even more absent from the Emmy noms list than Paqmo was the grab bag of attention-whore celebs you see in the rags and especially in this here blolumn.

Think that's a coincidence?

The biggest ef-off is to infamous d-bag Jeremy Piven, who'd won an Emmy the last three years in a row, but ended his winning streak with self-inflicted Sushigate. Bad move, Piv. All those B'way folks you pissed off totally have friends in Hollywood, duh.

Other goss targets digging their own Emmy-less holes: Nicollette Sheridan wouldn't keep her fights with the producers of Desperate Housewives quiet, and T.R. Knight and Katherine Heigl couldn't stop bitching about who hates working on Grey's Anatomy more. (Then again, the biggest tabloid-friendly dude in the whole Emmy bunch, Justin Timberlake, scored three nominations—tho dating Jessica Biel's certainly made him a helluva lot more boring to goss about.)

Since you guys did such a poor job on the boob tube, but phenomenal work in the tabloids, how about we have our own awards ceremony honoring how all of you racked up more scandal than respect this year?

Kathy Griffin already nabbed the name Schmemmys. How about the Tabbies? Your trophy can be every Awful Truth post and Us Weekly cover you've landed in, dipped in faux gold.

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share