Alyssa Scott is remembering how different life looked one year ago.
The model shared an emotional message on her Instagram Story on Aug. 12, as she continues to mourn the loss of her and Nick Cannon's 5-month-old son Zen, who died from a brain tumor last year.
Alyssa recalled how her son's health took a downturn, writing, "I can't believe it's been a year since what I thought would be a quick doctor visit turned into a 5 day hospital stay."
She said they "showed up at 9" and just a few hours later, Zen was having brain surgery at eight weeks old.
"I will never be the same," Alyssa said. "My body feels it. I've been on the verge of tears the last few days. Trying to keep a forward momentum."
She shared a photo of her son wrapped in a blue blanket and wrote, "I miss my boy."
In December, Nick revealed on The Nick Cannon Show that they had thought Zen was having sinus issues, so they took him to the doctor.
"We thought it would be a routine process," he told his audience. "We found out that he had another condition. And I think it was called, if I'm not mistaken, fluid that was building up in his head, and that was the cause."
He explained of the condition hydrocephalus, "His head was starting to get big. When we found out it was more, they called it a malignant tumor in his head. Immediately, we had to have surgery. Brain surgery."
Though their baby initially "carried on," Zen's health took a dip around Thanksgiving and, on Dec. 5, Nick held him for the last time. "You never know what someone is going through," the TV star added. "Hug your family. Kiss somebody. Tell them you love them."
Nick recently welcomed his eighth child, a baby boy named Legendary, with model Bre Tiesi.