Kristin Cavallari is ready to go back, back to the beginning.
On July 19, the Laguna Beach star and her former co-star Stephen Colletti launched their new podcast appropriately titled Back to the Beach. After rewatching the very first episode of MTV's hit reality show, Kristin quickly expressed regrets about her behavior.
"Watching it now, it's so different when you're in the middle of it and you're very emotional," she said. "I will say the fact that Lauren Conrad and I really went after each other is so messed up when I love you, but the person we should have been going after is you."
For those who don't recall, the first episode of Laguna Beach titled "A Black & White Affair" sparked a love triangle between Stephen, Kristin and Lauren. The drama would also introduce one of the biggest feuds of the series.
"This is so classic," Kristin said. "If someone gets cheated on, you go after the other woman. Why are we not blaming the guy—or the girl, whatever the situation is. In a lot of ways, I feel bad."
While Stephen was quick to admit that he made mistakes and needed to grow up, he said viewers didn't get the full story.
"MTV is painting it as this is straight up what's going down," he explained. "The black and white affair—having me leave with Lauren then with you as well—that is one of the biggest things that I was very uncomfortable with especially because I was a heartbroken kid in the middle of senior year."
"We were trying to figure it out and Lauren got swept up into all of it," Stephen continued. "It's just not who I am."
Now, the pair can look back on the experience with a new perspective. And for the record, there are no hard feelings between these two co-hosts. "You were always very sweet," Kristin told Stephen. "I don't think you were sitting here trying to play both of us."
Ultimately, both reality stars don't regret being a part of the show that changed their lives instantly. In fact, Kristin believes the experience helped her grow up into a better person.
"I remember saying I don't really know who I am. I don't think I'm this girl on the show, but I know I don't want to be this girl on the show," Kristen explained. "It made me look inward and really figure out who the heck I was. I do feel like the show made me grow up and probably get my s--t together and not make me such a little brat."
Dear Media's Back to the Beach podcast is available wherever you stream podcasts.