Noah Cyrus is finding hope in her journey to sobriety.
The 22-year-old recently opened up about her past addiction to Xanax, for which she has been in recovery since late 2020. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Noah revealed that she channeled the ups and downs of her personal struggles for her upcoming debut LP, The Hardest Part.
"It gave me so much structure in the time that I really needed structure, because I didn't want to just be sitting around and stirring in my brain," she told the outlet. "It gave me hope."
As Noah explained, growing up, she felt the pressures of being part of a public family (which includes older sister Miley Cyrus and dad Billy Ray Cyrus) and said she "struggled a bit with that." She said she had battles with body dysmorphia and depression over the years, recalling that she tried downers when she was 18 years old.
"My boyfriend at the time was the first person that gave me a Xanax, and it became a way for us to bond," she said. "I think I wanted to fit in with him. I wanted to be what he wanted and what he thought was cool and what I thought everybody was doing."
As she put it, "Once I felt that it was possible to silence things out for a second and numb your pain, it was over."
In fact, the singer recalled having easy access to the medication—which is used to treat anxiety and panic disorders—during that time. "I was surrounded by people who were easily able to get it by buying it from people," she said, adding that a few of her friends "kind of cosigned" her drug abuse. Noah, who said she would sleep all day and wake up sometimes as late as 8 p.m., said, "It just kind of becomes this dark pit, bottomless pit."
Noah's substance abuse, as she recalled, reached an alarming moment during the height of the coronavirus pandemic in 2020. During an international television interview (that did not air), the "July" singer said she began passing out mid-conversation.
"I was completely nodding off and falling asleep," she shared. "And unable to keep my head up or keep my eyes open, because I was so far gone." In August of that year, Noah's grandmother passed away—a devastating time that she said served as a wake-up call. "I felt so guilty for not being there when my grandma died," Noah recalled. "I was there physically, but emotionally, I was not there. I couldn't be."
And as Noah put it, not being there for her mom, Tish Cyrus, during her time of grief weighed heavily on her mind. "That was my big eye-opener," she explained. "I was sitting alone, and I was scared, and I realized that all the people that I love and all the people that I need, I was the one pushing them away."
However, after getting the help she needed almost two years ago, she's been "slowly wading back into the creative process," which includes her LP, slated for a July 15 release. "I was being helped by everybody that I needed help from," Noah said of her first few months in recovery. "And it took some time to get on my own two feet."
Noah explained that she made the decision to open up about her circumstances so she can help her fans who may be going through a similar situation. "I'm not trying to be, like, any spokesperson for recovery or anything like that," she shared. "I, myself, am just going through it and figuring it out."
And with Noah, who credits her process to hours of therapy and psychiatry, she's able to see the glimmer of hope. "I wake up in the mornings, and I'm able to look in a mirror and go on about my day without hating myself," she said. "I'm able to comfort myself and nurture myself."