While Haley Jones' shot selection has only improved with experience, so has the Stanford women's basketball standout become increasingly adept at knowing when her mind needs extra time to rebound.
"If you're not able to give your whole self to something, then you need to take a step back, find it and then go out so you can actually be playing the way that you're proud of," the 21-year-old told E! News in an exclusive interview for Mental Health Awareness Month. "Otherwise, you don't even want to be there and you're dreading going to practice."
And not being present in the moment could end up hurting in the long run.
"It takes a toll on your body if you're not there [mentally]," Jones explained. "You can get injured and then that just leads to more issues down the road. So I think if you're not fully present in what you're doing, and if that's due to some mental block that you're going through, whatever it may be, you need to advocate for what you need to your teammates, to your staff, and be like, 'Hey, I need a day.'"
Not that it's always easy to recognize when you need a break—or to be kind to yourself when you take one.
"For me personally, I think it's something that I struggled to do in the past and I'm still learning to do now," said the Most Outstanding Player of the 2021 Final Four, who went on to help the Cardinal win their first NCAA women's basketball championship in 29 years. "It's striking that balance between excelling in your sport and throwing yourself into that, and exceeding expectations that you might have for yourself academically—and still having a social life."
Then, she added, there's the challenge of "being okay with having alone time, prioritizing being away from the game, prioritizing being by yourself and having that outside life," away from the high-pressure environment at an institution like Stanford.
Even when you do take a time-out, Jones said, it can be challenging to "not fall into this headspace of like, 'Okay, other people are in the gym, other people are doing their homework right now. They're getting better doing [this or that] but here I am sitting in my bed taking a nap, taking a TikTok break, reading a new book, laying out at the pool,' whatever I need during that moment. Learning to be okay with that has been difficult."
Eventually, the soon-to-be senior with her eye on the 2023 WNBA draft added, "It's gotten easier to prioritize myself and my needs, and I think it's different for everyone."
Yet on most days, basketball is No. 1—and Jones is good with that.
The reigning Pac-12 Women's Basketball Player of the Year loves the game and tries to remember just how much when the stakes are high, which for her is almost always.
Social media has cranked up the spotlight on all sports, "but around women's basketball specifically," Jones said, "I feel like there's more and more pressure on the game because [the message is], 'You guys are at the forefront. You're growing the game. You guys are the ones leading the way for the next generation.'"
Which, she added with a laugh, leads her to think, "Dang, I've got to get out there and kill it on all my games! National TV, people are watching, you got to show out for women's basketball."
At the same time, Jones said, "when you allow yourself to feel pressure, you have a sense of urgency and you're competing at a good level. But if you let the pressure fully take over everything, then that's where it becomes an issue."
In which case, she said, "it's learning to manage unhealthy amounts so that you're able to rise to the occasion."
Jones deeply admires athletes like Naomi Osaka, who withdrew from the 2021 French Open after her controversial decision to not sit for mandatory post-match media sessions, citing the toll it took on her mental health, became the unintended talk of the tournament. "There shouldn't be any shame in that," Jones said. "She's one of the best players in the world and winning grand slams and all this stuff, and then you see her take a step back to strengthen her own being and find herself. It's inspiring to see."
At the same time, the Naismith National Player of the Year finalist—who averaged 13.2 points per game the past two seasons—is on a team, which adds an extra layer of responsibility.
"My teammates need me there," she said. "Not for what my skills may be on the court but also as a friend, as a leader. They might be going through something so I can't just not show up for them. It's okay to not be okay and let people know that, but also show them that you're able to push through it, that you're still fighting to find that strength so you can keep working."
To stay in a healthy headspace, the women's basketball team has a mindfulness and wellness coach ("We call him the 'happy professor,' he's amazing," Jones said), who they work with once a week during the season, and a sports psychologist checks who checks in every few weeks. There's also support staff on call and other campus resources you can seek out at any time, Jones added.
"I would say, reach out to somebody within the program," Jones said, "but also have somebody outside of it that has no tie to your playing time, no tie to your performance. Somebody who you can truly confide in who you know doesn't have any power over your sport. They're just there for you as a whole person."
Though the Santa Cruz, Calif., native has been playing at Stanford for three years (minus time spent healing from a season-ending knee injury when she was a freshman and the altered state of play during the COVID-19 pandemic), team-building is an ongoing process, whether it's by cranking up just the right playlist in the locker room, doing karaoke or going out to dinner.
"We can get hyped before the game or we can sing our hearts out, it's a way for us to connect," Jones explained. "Let's just go hang out and actually enjoy each other as friends, as people. So when it does get down to these high-pressure, high-urgency situations and late games, you're able to still have that trust."
As in, she added with a laugh, "Even if I missed this free throw or I missed this shot, you're not going to hate me. We still have a relationship, right? Like, you're on the bench and I know that you're still going to love me, you're still going to give me a hug. It might be a happy hug or it might be a very sad one, but I'm still going to get that love from you."
And if that sounds more like a family to you, you're not wrong.
Jones and her fellow student-athletes were devastated by the March 1 death by suicide of Stanford soccer player Katie Meyer, a team leader who had won a national championship with the Cardinal in 2019. The 22-year-old was mourned campus-wide, her death a jarring reminder of how mental health issues can weigh on even those who seem to have everything going for them.
Stanford's women's soccer and basketball teams are "like two peas in a pod," Jones said. "They go to our games, we love going to their games and Katie specifically was kind of that focal point, our strong tie that we had to the soccer team. She was an amazing person. She just had this charisma, this way about her that drew people in and she just had so much passion for the game, for life, for growing women's sports, for her friends—just so much love to give. So I think when we heard of her passing, it was heartbreaking."
The women's basketball team was in Las Vegas to play in the Pac-12 Tournament when they heard the awful news on March 2. "But we had to deal with that and cope," Jones recalled. "And I think we also came to the realization that Katie was the type of person who wouldn't want us to sit around and mope, and she wouldn't want us to just be sad about it all the time. So when we played in the tournament, we were playing with passion, we were playing with fight and we were hyped, advocating for everything that she believed in, just to carry on that torch."
But overall, Jones added, "I would want people to remember her as this person that was just too large for life. She was passionate, she was loving, she was caring and she was just a fireball. She would stand up for anything and anyone at any point in time, which I really admired about her."
It's a fact of their lives that "the pressure is always there," Jones said. But "what I would say to younger athletes, and also what I try to tell myself, is that it's okay to feel it. But also you don't want to let it be overwhelming because, whatever sport you're in, it's something that you love to do. And it's something that you've been doing probably for years on end now."
So when she's facing a challenge such as a Final Four game, she reminds herself, "'Haley, this is basketball. You grew up dribbling in the gym as your parents were coaching, dribbling around the house… This is something that you love to do. So why are you turning this passion that you have into a ball of stress and a ball of pressure, when this is something that's supposed to be your escape, your happy place? You're supposed to go out here and just hoop, right?'"
People are going to say what they want about you, especially on social media, but "I'm not listening to @troll1234 commenting, 'Oh, get in the kitchen,'" Jones quipped. "I'm listening to what my mom has to say when I go see her in the stands. I'm listening to what my dad, my friends have to say about my play and how I carry myself out there."
Again, it's not always easy to drown out the noise, but, she advised, "Have confidence in what you do and what you're capable of, and just remember, Why are you here? You love basketball, you love whatever you're doing. So just go do it."