Tayler Holder came close to losing it all.
After chatter began to spread online earlier this year that allegations may soon surface against him, the TikTok star started losing prominent followers like Bryce Hall and Loren Grey. At the same time, he was dealing with a public breakup from DJ Charly Jordan.
While appearing on the Feb. 1 episode of Barstool Sports' BFFs podcast, co-host Dave Portnoy flat out asked Tayler if he was expected to face sexual misconduct allegations. Taylor's response, however, provided more questions than answers.
"If it's something to that extent and that serious, I've dealt with people that have went through stuff like that and it's something that I don't take lightly," Tayler shared. "It's something I don't personally agree with. If it is something to that extent, I don't know why everyone runs to the internet. I think that it should definitely be something that's handled legally offline and very professionally." As of today, no allegations have surfaced.
Now, as Tayler prepares for his return to music with the release of his single "Human" April 27, the content creator is sharing an open letter exclusively with E! News in which he addresses his split from Charly, the online harassment he faced and the lessons he learned after "being ‘cancelled' for something I absolutely did not do."
"In my healing process, music became my personal therapy—my necessary creative outlet—where I used my feelings of loss, loneliness, anger, fear and sadness, to help me create something beautiful," he writes, "to help others understand that they are not alone in this world."
Keep reading to see his personal message to his most loyal fans.
To my fans, listeners, haters, supporters and everyone in between:
I write this letter today as I have recently experienced scrapes and bruises that have really taught me great lessons and have made me really look at life through a different lens.
This year, like for many others, has been one of the toughest years of my life and it has really had a negative effect on my mental health due to several circumstances. I went through a very difficult breakup with someone who I cared for—and continue to care deeply for. Because we both lead public lives, the scrutiny surrounding the breakup made things more difficult than it should have been and I did everything in my power to protect our respective privacies. Unfortunately, that was not respected.
On top of that, there were other unfortunate situations that came into play that led to a series of fabricated rumors, which can only be described as cyberbullying, that led to my "cancellation." This online harassment took a serious toll on my mental health, and these false accusations cost me dearly on a professional level. Despite exhausting every effort to reclaim my reputation and because I was never confronted with anything specific to which I could respond to, it felt like I was fighting a silent aggressor. This led me to take a hard look at myself, process my feelings and develop the tools to handle the negative effects that the internet can bring.
Going through this process caused me to spend a lot of time alone as I did not want to be around my friends and family until I could put my efforts into action. It was during that time that I was reminded of the simple things in life and the blessings that I have been given day to day. With that newfound perspective, I found the strength in my faith, ways to manage my personal struggles and deal with feeling lonely. The loneliness I felt as a result of these losses in my life and during a time that I was being "cancelled" for something I absolutely did not do, was something I've never felt before. But taking time to really look at how I need to deal with life outside TikTok has really given me a perspective that only comes with going through something like this. Otherwise, I would have never had the opportunity to use what I learned from this very painful chapter of my life to help others.
I now can see the negativity for what it is, and that clarity allowed me to focus on positive responses that are meant to uplift me and not tear me down. It really has helped me to be a much happier individual. I have learned how to just step away at times, take those healthy breaths and find my peace first before I choose to react. These tools have very much helped me to find the calm within the storm. The results of this really got my creative juices flowing and really challenged me to go to a deeper place—to go back to my love of music and to express my feelings in a healthy way.
A lot of people get this industry mixed up for what it really is. People don't understand the responsibilities and pressures that come with it. Unfortunately, in today's world, people tend to ignore the truth and choose instead to focus on the drama no matter how inaccurate it may be. Negativity over positivity tends to generate more buzz. How people view your status and the expectation they put on, no matter how unfair, creates higher standards making it hard to grow as a person. So, in my healing process, music became my personal therapy—my necessary creative outlet—where I used my feelings of loss, loneliness, anger, fear, and sadness, to help me create something beautiful to help others understand that they are not alone in this world.
"Human" captures all of these feelings into one song. I wanted it to reflect the simple feelings of what it feels like to be just that—a human. I pray that people find the same hope that I felt when I put my emotions down on paper. My dream is that this song will help others as much as it did me when I was writing it.
Love,
Tayler