Shawn Mendes is speaking out about some personal struggles he faced following his split from Camila Cabello.
The two singers announced their breakup last November after dating for more than two years. While Shawn, 23, has expressed his feelings through his music since then, on Friday, March 18, he released a full video confessional on Instagram, in which he addressed the split directly for the first time.
While speaking about upcoming new music, the Canadian star reflected on his life post-breakup. "A lot of the things that also is like, resonating in the lyric for me is like, oh, f--k, you know, you don't realize, like, when you're like, breaking up with someone, you like think it's the right thing to do, you don't realize all this s--t that comes after it. Like, who do I call when I'm like, in a panic attack? Who do I call when I'm like, f--king, on the edge?"
He continued, "I think that's the reality that kind of hit me. It's like, oh, I'm on my own now. Now I feel like finally, like, I'm actually on my own, and I hate that. That's my reality, you know?"
A source close to Camila had told E! News following the former couple's breakup announcement that Shawn had "initiated the conversation" with the fellow singer about breaking up, and that while she was "very upset over the split," the two "agreed" it was for the best.
In December, Shawn released his single "It'll Be Okay," which fans speculated was about the breakup. Lyrics include, "We don't have to stay/ I will love you either way / It'll be OK."
Later that month, Shawn posted an Instagram video thanking his fans for their support, noting that he's seen TikTok videos of fans crying over his single. "And I hope that's because there's some truth in the song and there lies honesty in it," he said. "And I just feel so proud of that song and I feel so grateful that you guys are connecting with it and I feel so grateful that people are be vulnerable with it and people are just having fun with it."
Shawn and Camila have kept in touch following their split. In January, they were photographed together in Miami, walking their golden retriever, Tarzan.
A few weeks ago, Camila released her own breakup anthem—"Bam Bam," featuring Ed Sheeran. While she does not address Shawn directly in the lyrics, the song contains the line, "You said you hated the ocean but you're surfin' now." In 2020, Her ex said on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon that his "biggest fear is deep water" while talking about a boating trip with Camila and friends. In November, days after the former pair's split announcement, Shawn posted on Instagram photos of himself surfing.
While they sparked romance rumors in mid-2019, Shawn and Camilla actually met in 2014, when he, then almost 16, and she, then 17 and a member of Fifth Harmony, both opened for Austin Mahone on tour.
In "Bam Bam," Camila also sings, "We were kids at the start, I guess we're grown-ups now."
"I love Shawn," she told Apple Music 1's Zane Lowe in an interview released earlier this month. "And I feel like there is literally nothing but love for him. And this song is mostly just about like, 'Okay, how do I make a song that shows the cycles of love, and life, and gives people…' Whatever it is that's going on in your life… hopefully, this can make you be like, 'It is that way now, but things are always taking crazy turns.'"