For Erin Lim Rhodes, heading back to work is bittersweet.
The Rundown host returned to the E! News offices for the first time this week after she and husband Joshua Rhodes welcomed their first child together, daughter Saylor Cielo Rhodes, nearly four months ago in November 2021.
Now, the E! personality is opening up about the ups and downs of motherhood, baby firsts and balancing parenthood and work. Read on for our exclusive Q&A with Erin, and check out her return to The Rundown on Snapchat now!
E! NEWS: How have the first four months of motherhood been?
ELR: They've literally been every single emotion imaginable, from exciting and just so joy-filled and exhausting and challenging. I mean, I cry every day either because I'm like so excited that she did something awesome and I'm so happy or because I'm very sleep deprived. So it's been overall incredible.
E!: Was there anything that surprised you or did you fully prepare yourself for motherhood?
ELR: I was so not prepared. Everyone said, "Good luck sleeping! You're gonna say goodbye to sleep." My husband and I were like we're excited to experience that because it's our first child. Let's see what this whole no sleep thing is about. And then we're going through it and we're looking at each other like, "Oh yeah, this is the real deal. When was the last time we got a full-night sleep?"
But what surprised me was how I would feel towards humanity at the end of the day. It's so weird to say but I will look at a human being and be like, "Wow, you were created in someone's womb and someone carried you and brought you into this world and you were created with such purpose," and I'll just cry thinking about that. Like a strong-ass woman brought you into this world.
E!: What's it been like seeing Josh as a dad?
ELR: The most heartwarming thing ever. He's such an awesome dad. He's so thoughtful and caring, he's so nurturing and loving. And just the bond that he and Saylor already have, it's just magic looking at it because I can see how much she loves him and how much he loves her. She's already a full-on daddy's girl, like I'm chopped liver. I carried this child for nine months, brought her into this world, labored and everything and she's all about dad.
But I will say I can't do it without him. He is just so calming through every situation. If I have questions, I'm constantly asking him, "What should we do? How do we do this?" And he doesn't have the answer always but he handles it with such grace and deals with my insanity. So I would be lost without him.
E!: Have you noticed any changes with Saylor even in just the first four months?
ELR: She loves her voice, she's constantly making little noises and trying to communicate. I swear she can already say "hi." She makes this like little high pitched sound and I'm like, "You just said ‘hi,' you're a baby genius." She uses her hands, she's super alert. Ever since she came out of the womb she was smiling and she can make eye contact and follow things that interest her, but it's even more so now.
E!: You returned to work at E! this week, how was making that transition?
ELR: Honestly I did not expect myself to be so emotionally drained, sad kinda. They say, "OK, you're gonna get emotional going back to work," and by the four-month period I was kind of feeling like maybe breastfeeding isn't for me, maybe I should start weaning. And the combo of weaning [from] breastfeeding and then going back to work really just sent me in a somewhat dark place. I kind of was thinking that I was going through postpartum depression. A lot of people don't really talk about it and you don't really know what it is until you're in it. You think, "Maybe they had pre-existing depression or does that mean that you resent your baby or does that mean that you hate being a mom?" And it's not that at all.
I don't know if I fully have postpartum depression but I do know that I'm going through a little bit of baby blues. I feel like not a lot of people shed light on that and that is something that is natural. That is something that a lot of moms do go through and it's just this unexplainable sadness where it's like, "OK, I've gotta leave my baby when I've just been in this little love bubble for the last four months," and you're kind anxious to leave and nervous.
But I'll tell you once I stepped foot back into that studio, it was exactly what I needed. I felt like me again, I felt reinvigorated and energized and excited to do what I do and it just reminded me that I can be me, Erin, a career woman and someone who gets to do awesome things outside of motherhood. And then I'm done with being Erin on The Rundown, I get to go home and be Erin the mom, which is really special.
E!: Have you and Josh talked about potentially having another child?
ELR: I need to have one of those Men in Black moments where they erase my memory where it wipes away me feeling labor, the delivery and then the hardship of no sleep and then I might be ready for another kid. But right now we're like, "Saylor is the apple of our eye, that's all we want." Maybe another one if we forget about all this. Once we recover from having a newborn I think we would consider it.