Paris Hilton Is in Total Denial

She wants the world to believe she’s a little angel--but there’s way too much evidence against her!

By Ted Casablanca Jul 01, 2009 1:05 AMTags
Paris HiltonGreg Tidwell,

Does Paris Hilton have any idea who she really is? P likes to act like a li'l, pink angel in front of the cameras, but behind closed doors (which are usually eventually opened up for public consumption, either from P's phone getting hacked or her forgetting to pay rent for storage units), P.H. is anything but angelic.

She's been documented yelling racial slurs, doing drugs and doing endless duds of men, for starters. That's how the world sees her, but Princess P's got a more regal view of herself, as she proved on her guest stint on Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List earlier this week.

Kath preparing her crotch to shop with Pare-poo is hilarious enough, but the best part of Ms. Hilton's boob-tube cameo?

Paris being completely in denial of her own debaucherous doings. When Kath makes an oral sex joke, Par looks utterly disgusted and says, "I never do that. My mom always taught me only ugly girls need to go down on their knees and do things like that."

Does P.H. have short-term memory loss? Because as hard we desperately try, we can't get out of our heads the image of Paris doing exactly that to Rick Salomon in the sex tape that every last person on Earth has seen. And what about all those bathroom visits with Doug Reinhardt? Pare was helping him floss in there?

You know what? If we hadn't already seen evidence against Par's denial of going downtown, we'd surely believe her because Paris doesn't strike us a bitch who's overly interested in sending her partners into deliriously orgasmic overdrive. Well, maybe just between cell calls and texts.

I mean, only ugly people don't get to take texting breaks between fellatio services, right?