A Definitive Ranking of Euphoria's Complicated Couplings

While none of the Euphoria couples are great examples of relationships, some pairings are slightly better than others.

By Cydney Contreras Feb 07, 2022 1:00 AMTags
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When it comes down to it, we don't think any of the Euphoria characters belong together.

If we could sit these teens down and offer them some advice, we'd likely tell them to invest in themselves instead of their significant others. And maybe we'd warn Cassie (Sydney Sweeney) and Maddy (Alexa Demie) that Nate (Jacob Elordi) has darkness in his eyes. But we're not a counselor at Euphoria high and this is a fictional show.

So, we've settled for ranking the couples from somewhat healthy to incredibly toxic (we're sure you can guess who falls under the latter category) because, let's face it, none of these couples can really be held up as shiny examples of what love should look like. 

In just one and a half seasons, we've seen these characters cheat on each other and endure appalling emotional and physical abuse, none of which should be applauded or glorified. But as Eric Dane recently told E! News, this show is more a "cautionary tale" than it is an aspirational story.

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Ahead of season two, Zendaya even warned, "Euphoria is for mature audiences."

So, we're not necessarily celebrating these couples, but we do see the jokes on Twitter and we agree that Cassie is in over her head when it comes to Nate. 

Without further ado, keep scrolling to hear our take on these pairings.

1. Lexi & Fez

No, they're not technically a couple but we're rooting for them so we're putting this one out into the universe. Fez may be a drug dealer and Lexi may be a goody-two shoes, but it's not like that's a secret. Plus, there's no harm in having a little fun. Maybe he'll even help Lexi loosen up a bit.

2. Kat & Ethan

Kat may not be in love with Ethan, but we haven't seen him hit or yell at her like some other couples in this series. This relationship is just a fun and frivolous romance, as it should be for these high schoolers.

3. Jules & Elliot

There's no denying that Jules and Elliot are in the wrong for lying to Rue about their hookup. But in the grand scheme of things, these two seem like a better match than Rue and Jules, who has admitted that she's more comfortable with men than women. It also seems like Jules likes the idea of being with Rue more than she actually likes her. If Elliot is able to physically and emotionally satisfy Jules, then why keep them apart?

4. Nate & Maddy

While they aren't technically together, don't let Maddy hear that. Since they've gone their separate ways, Maddy has realized she loves Nate in her own unique way and she's started to think that he could be the only man for her. With Nate, it's totally unclear how he feels since his judgement is shrouded by the fact that Maddy has his dad's sex tape. They're matched in their will to protect each other, with Nate even sending a man that Maddy claims raped her to the hospital.

The only positive thing about this pairing is that they're aware how toxic they are, and it seems like that's healthier than lying to yourself.

5. Jules & Rue

Yes, Rules is a cute nickname but it's just not going to work for these two. In theory, they could've been good for each other but the reality is that they aren't a good match. Between Rue hiding her drug abuse and Jules' insecurities, as well as her obvious attraction to Elliot, it's clear that this relationship is destined to end. 

6. Cassie & Nate

Cassie seems to think that she and Nate are a better match than him and Maddy, but clearly, she needs a reality check. And though there have been many red flags throughout their so-called relationship, the biggest one is that he was willing to drink and drive with her in the car. That's not love, that's just reckless.

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