For some, it's not the most wonderful time of the year. And that's OK.
Earlier this month, Maya Vander shared the heartbreaking news that she delivered baby boy Mason in a stillbirth—and now, she's opening up about her grief over the holidays.
"This is not the Christmas Eve I had envisioned," the Selling Sunset star captioned a picture of her family in front of their Christmas tree. "This was the day Mason would have come home with us."
And while she acknowledged she was smiling in the photo—which features husband David Miller and their kids Aiden, 2, and Elle, 19 months—she admitted looks can be deceiving. "It's been difficult," she wrote. "I never experienced grief this way. Our family is taking it one day at a time and we are just trying our best for the kids. I am extremely grateful for all the kindness and messages I have been getting. We are thankful for our children and know that it will be ok."
"I want to wish all of you happy holiday season!" she continued. "I hope and have faith that after the storm comes the [rainbow emoji, prayer hand emoji]."
At 38 weeks pregnant, Maya went in for a doctor's appointment and "they couldn't find the heartbeat," she said in an interview with E! News. "I did an ultrasound and they confirmed, unfortunately, that the baby died...I just went to the hospital and I went to a delivery, and unfortunately the outcome was not what I was anticipating."
Devastated, she decided to share her painful story in the hopes of connecting with other women who can unfortunately relate. "I realized that I'm not the only woman who had this experience," she told E!. "I read a bunch of stories about other women who went through same situation that I'm in right now. For me personally, it helps me with other women who experienced what I have and who intimately understand the pain—the painful situation—because no one prepares for something like that."