Allow Hannah Brown to explain.
Bachelor Nation is still reeling from the news that Peter Weber not only offered to quit his season of The Bachelor to be with Hannah, but that the pair also hooked up as the ABC dating series continued to play out.
However, there's more to the story, Hannah explained during E! News' Daily Pop on Tuesday, Nov. 23,
"Peter is a great guy, he's super sweet," the Bachelorette alum began. "But I think for me, I was in a very tumultuous time in my personal life, just emotionally."
In her new book, God Bless This Mess: Learning to Live and Love Through Life's Best (and Worst) Moments, Hannah tries to unpack that time in her life to make sense of it.
"I think while there's been this gray line of us, I think when you read the book, you kind of understand what I was going through, and maybe why I made some of the decisions I did," she said during the exclusive conversation.
At the end of the day, she understands why so many Bachelor Nation fans are fascinated with the story of her reunion with Peter (which he has since confirmed).
"Yeah, I think it's interesting," she told Daily Pop hosts Justin Sylvester and Morgan Stewart. "There's, like, this other story line kind of going on at the same time that cameras didn't catch."
There's also the unique connection she and Peter shared. "Once you've done that show, you're emotionally, like, off-kilter, I think," Hannah explained. "And then you're connected, and [it's] just like emotional trauma connecting [you] in some way."
Thankfully, writing God Bless This Mess—and lots of therapy—helped Hannah move forward. At one point, she even combined the two, bringing her therapist along on a writing retreat.
"I used it as a time to really make sure I was really honest in this book, and, like, didn't just go brush over the surface of things that are hard to talk about," Hannah said. "And I had somebody there to really help me dive as deep as I could, not only for the reader but for myself."
She continued, "I'm so thankful that I have had this experience where I have been able to do that: processing and writing at the same time, because I think it gives this extra layer of authenticity."
Working through her issues also helped her find love. Hannah has been dating fashion sales director Adam Woolard for a year, and he makes sure to support her every step of the way, she said on Daily Pop.
"He kind of went on his own journey a few years ago of self-exploration and just kind of dismantling different beliefs and really coming into his own, so he's been really supportive and helpful because he gets it," Hannah said. "I have this extra layer of doing it in the public eye and him kind of being a part of that, but he's been so supportive."
"I'm really so blessed to have him in my life," she added.
Hear more from Hannah in God Bless This Mess: Learning to Live and Love Through the Best (and Worst) Moments, now available wherever books are sold.